Bill O'Reilly, Bill Maher, Bill, Bill, Bill, Build a Bridge and Get Over It..

Bill, Bill, Bill, how about, build, build, build? Ok, political blog this is not. So pre forgive me if I mis step here but also remember this is America land of the free, how can I mis step if I am speaking my mind? Right. So here we go..

I watch Bill Maher on HBO every Friday night with my husband. We both really enjoy his show. We are not political activists, we are not left wingers, right wingers, we have no 'wings', we just enjoy hearing his sometimes provocative and sometimes down to earth views on the world today, mostly on the political world today. If we are not in the same room on Friday night 11pm EST, he will come get me and say 'do you want to watch..' and I cut him off, yep it's Friday night don't even have to finish the sentence, I know what's on, "Yes put it on HBO".

Bill Maher has this way of presenting maybe not all the facts (his show is not that long) but enough of them to get you thinking, maybe get you googling, and hence, get you learning a little bit more about our current state of affairs. And ladies and gentlemen, our current state of affairs I hate to say, is pretty messed up. I know that without watching his show but it's only enhanced by what his guests have to say and ultimately what he has to say. Let me tell you, I don't always agree with what he says-or what his guests say. Sometimes his guests come on and it's clear to me and at times the looks on his face tell me it's clear to HIM that they are a little bit wacko, off center, you know what I mean, askew in thier general mindset if you will. And I can promise you he already knows their views and already knows what buttons to push in them to get them to say thier crazy views. Then it gets him going too. He tries to be tolerant for a minute, you see him trying to be kind but it only lasts for like 12 seconds because really he can't hold it in, he can't take it. So then the battle of the wits and the words and the funny one liners kick in and a great show it does make. Love it love it love it.

Isn't there always a "but"? Yes. There is a "but". BUT I get stumped every single time he reminds us he's an Atheist. I try to forget about it when I'm watching. I try in my Christian-Catholic mind to forget he does not believe in God and that he thinks I'm the kooky one because I believe in "the big guy out in space". Because I believe in a higer power that he thinks to his core does not exist. So last night on his show, he said, and this is loosely represented, I cannot remember his exact words so this is by no means an exact quote, in general he was reminding us that the United States Constitution tells us that religion should not play a role in the U.S. government and that 'anyone has the right to run for President and that they have that same right to follow whatever religon they want to follow (so loosely quoting here) but he also has the same right to take that into consideration when he's standing inside the voting booth'. And he went on to remind us that the latest figures are that 20% of Americans do not believe in God and while that is still a minority, it's still enough to shake things up in the voting booths, and that he thinks if we had a Commander in Chief who did NOT believe in God maybe he'd be a little less quick to decide to send troops over to the Mid East to be killed because he 'believed' they were going to Heaven. Thunderous clapping in the studio follwed this statement. Hmmm.

Ok. So I've been thinking. You know where I'm going. You can't have the ocean without waves. It's always going to be the ocean and the waves, a pretty good marriage, a pretty good analogy. This is where I've landed for the moment. How can someone such as Bill Maher seem so level headed, seem so normal (you know, who's normal anyway?), have provocative thoughts which cause pause for fleshing out what is what, seem so, well, for lack of a better descriptive, mainstream (and he probably isn't but really, I don't know him, this is all my perception of him on his show and yes I'm getting to the point), but not believe in God. He thinks I'm the idiot. Sadly, I don't think he's an idiot at all. I absolutely respect his belief, don't agree with it, but he's entitled to it, and I don't judge him for it. I think it makes me sad but I'm sure he'd tell me to get 'un' sad for him and quick, but I still feel it. Sad. This is the oceans and the waves part. I'm here now. You tell me, anyone, how I still believe in God when that little boy of mine was made to suffer as he did. Do you know how I screamed and cried in the little chapel at the first Childrens Hospital? Shook my fists at the cross and fell in a heap on my knees, alone, by myself, no one but me and Him. Alone. But not alone. I begged. I said things I know I should not have. And who, who was I talking to? Believing is not the word, knowing is the word, like breathing, I knew He was there. Listening, with me. Why would I be talking to someone who I thought or doubted existed? Does this make sense? I am a Catholic. I don't know the bible very well at all. Don't ask me to quote it. There are things about Catholisicm I do not agree with. But it's what I know and more than anything, more than my 'religion' and to me far more important than it, is my relationship with God. So how now, four years later, with his fifth birthday about two weeks away, if he were alive that is, how do I walk away so confidently believing that there IS a higher power? I'll tell you. It's called Faith. Can I prove it to you? No. Can I show him to you? No. Does that sound a little bit left of center, a little bit kooky? Sure. But guess what? Bigger than that sliver of doubt and fuller than anything I know (and tell me it's because it's fed to me, whatever) is my sheer Faith that He is there. If you tell me that He isn't, if you tell me that it's all a load of crap, you might as well just kill me now. Put me out of my misery, before the insanity sets in and I fall to pieces. There is no way, no freaking way that Lucas just died and that was that. Bull crap. Or anyone else for that matter.

Take Rob. Over at Schuyler's Monster. Intense guy with a fantastic little daughter. God forbid anything ever happened to Schuyler ( I actually think she is a remarkably strong little girl and 'fighter' just doesn't even begin to describe her from what I've read) and she left this Earth, what? Are we to believe that would be that and she'd be on her own or just gone forever, her soul and spirit would be where? Nowhere? No. I just can't grasp that. I'm just kindly saying, I just can't be ok with that thought. If nothing else, if not but for our children alone, and for me it's more, there has to be a concious string of thought that there is something more, something bigger, someone who is all knowing, who puts things into motion, who is there for us emotionally when we need them. For me, it's God. Yippee skippy I'm sure you may be thinking. But this 'God' thing ain't for everyone. Right. Sure. I get it. But I don't get it.

Bill Maher, you almost have me every show, save the shows where you remind us either in subtle fashion with small quips, or outright verbally bashing us over the head with it, then you lose me for a minute. I'll agree, you make me think. And maybe that is your goal. You think we are not thinking. And many of us are not. But I am. Three cheers for me. I might not come out on the same side of the fence you find yourself on, but that does not mean I am not thinking. When I think of Bill O'Reilly, well I think he absolutely DOES mean to belittle folks. He comes off as pompous and self righteous and appears to be a regular ass. Bill Maher is a comedian, therefore, he is quite the smart ass. As am I. I can relate. Not the comedian part, the smart ass part. I cannot though relate to acting holier than thou and cutting the people who put the food on your table week in and week out down to nothing with your horribly rude and impetuous comments. I find it ingratiating and irritating. Therefore, as a direct result of your I know it all and you know nothing attitude, I no longer watch your show; ever. Sad I know. I'm sure you give two craps. One less watcher to your million or more; whatever. I'm simply pointing out that you aren't worth my time. I remember when you worked on Inside Edition and did a peice on the 'new up and coming' video games like PlayStation etc etc. You were dry and dorky then and you still are now, just add the ass part and it makes you highly undesirable to spend my precious time watching. And you believe in God! Go figure!

Eloquent I'm not but honest I am. Even though I enjoy the Bill M show immensely, I do not enjoy being told I'm the fruity one for my belief in God. This is a hard one for me. I have to hang on tight to that for without that, there's no hope I'll ever see Lucas again. And that just can't be. Call me crazy, go ahead, I mean it. It's ok. I'm ok with that. Maybe what I'd like YOU Bill M to reconsider is that while I'm sure you officially take the position that those who believe in God have that right, but reconsider what you truly believe, that it's us who has the issue to deal with and not you. Just you know, flip it up and toss the idea around for a minute. I'm sure you'll come out on the same position but please don't be so quick to point out to us, as you remind of me Bill O when you do, that we are idiots and not worthy of your vote in the booth for our belief in God. It comes off a little, well, you know, holier than thou.

All done now. Off my little uneducated pulpit.

Jenn