Give Me More..

You go and you go and you go. You do and you do and you do. Non stop sometimes. With no thanks, no appreciation, nothing. Sometimes you wish you had a cheerleading squad standing there cheering you on, helping pump you up. You fall into slumps at work, you don't know why, you try and try and when you are there, you work your *** off and still to no avail. What can "we" do better is asked of you. Wait, you mean, what can "you" do better don't you? Just ask the question, maybe the "we" thing works for most folks, makes them feel like they didn't really do anything wrong, the team did it, not them. For me, I'd rather not hear the patronizing technique of someone using the "we" thing on me to make me feel better and less confronted or approached on something I need to improve on. Please just say, "you need to improve, what can you do better?" I'm so fine with that. I so feel less like I'm being handled.

Back at home, there is no such thing as rest. It's non stop. Sometimes so much so that I just WANT to sit and be lazy and when I can, I do. I really do. Then I feel guilty after five minutes and I'm back up and tackling the world. I can't sit still because I want to get to so much, I don't know how to be quiet with myself, it's lots of constant moving.

How about people who take and take and take and never think of saying thank you? Just what can I get for free? Ya got anything for me? How many people will treat me and pay for my families meals? I'll tell you. Those people will get theirs in the end. Critisize with a smile on their face, "don't you think you should do this? got that going yet? did you get that done yet? come on chop chop lets go" and I tell you, I get quiet. I mean, quiet. When I get quiet, you better know my brain is brewing. I'm thinking about the best way to tell you what I think. And I'm thinking hard. I rarely let things come out of my mouth without a lot of thought. It might take me a minute (sarcastic for a day, a week, a month take your choice) but I'll get to telling you whatever is baking in my brain. Sometimes my silence says it all. I can't help it. I'm not "techniquing" you, it's just how I'm processing your ill manners and ungratefulness. Time for the bill at a restaurant? Did you offer to pay your more than fair share? Or just your fair share? Or anything at all? Have you done that ever? Hmmm. I'm not sure. I have not witnessed it. I can't say you haven't, I just have not seen it. More power to you if you have. I'd be glad to know it.

For some people in this world, it's never enough. I wonder what it would take for them to see the world as it really is? And the kids of those people? Phew. No thanks, no excitement, do it for me, oh my Lord I cannot stand it. They are doing nothing, not one redeeming thing for their kids. Most kids I know, in fact almost all of them know how to say thank you, show appreciation in their own way, are growing up fantastically. It's sad when I see the opposite. But hey, I'm not the police of the world, someone remind me, go ahead. I know. I come off as holier than thou. Mm hmm. I know. P.O.W. Police of the World. I know. But good LORD can you not see yourself? Just done. Don't you know when you go around stooping to help those around you, picking folks up, helping more in small or big ways, that's the way to be? That's how you teach your child success? Those are the things God measures us all by. I'm glad I have that in my heart and brain. My boys will be prepared for their lives. They may not like it now but I know they will love us for it later. Promise.

Maybe it sounds like I'm complaining. And maybe I am a little but it's more a venting session. Just saying it like it is. It is what it is. Quite simple really. Change doesn't come without dreams and reaching for more. First you have to be enlightened. Enlighten yourself. Go ahead. Make my day.

(Big sigh and I feel all loads better now)

Jenn