I am such a song girl

Tamm and Kel I'm glad we have that in common among many things.

Do songs just get you? I mean, with me, I can make any song, and I mean any song, have to do with my life. I sometimes get to a point in the song and lyrics where I realize 'well dang that can't apply now can it?' but mostly, I can do it. For example, this song that is out kind of new from Fergie, "Big Girls Don't Cry" I can make mostly about me and Lucas till 3/4 of the way through the song then I hit the wall and realize, no, this is really a song about love that didn't get to be love. Doesn't totally apply. But the beginning, I cry, I get sad, I can't help it. I think I look for songs to have that absolute meaning for me in my life. Whatever is on my mind at that moment, I find a way. Am I the only one?

The new song by Bon Jovi, 'Make a Memory' gets me. I have applied this in my personal life but not every single line in the lyrics applies to us. Most of it does and I like it but then when it hits the parts that just cannot or will not apply to us, it loses it's supreme meaning it had like four seconds ago. I'm a nut.

I'm completely driving by emotions (no!) and songs are utterly a connecting point in my life to all that is flying through my head. --went to Lucas' grave the other day and had a little cry fest. Someone had been there and left his picture open. We have a picture on his grave that is burned into ceramic so it will never fade and it's part of his marker. It covers up with a golden leaf so you can open and close it whenever you want. I think it freaked me out that it was open. We always always kiss him (his picture) and then close it before we leave. I didn't need much when I got there and that one thing tripped the wire and I was done. There were workers nearby and I'm not sure what they thought, but I didn't care. It's my release. I cannot worry what others think when I'm there. So then I get in the car and I hear this Fergie song and I find a way, make a way to connect meaning to me and Lucas in that song. Insane. Crazy. I know it. I'm telling you I'm fully 100% aware. I'm a total song and lyric girl.

What can I say? Not much I suppose. At least I know my elevator doesn't go to the top floor. Some people never even realize that about themselves. That has to count for something....