How To Eat Live Worms

When you get a voicemail from the school nurse, a certain level of anxiety typically runs through you. Even if just for a second or two until you hear the reason for the call. Let's face it, she's a nurse. This usually isn't a happy call. Something is wrong, your child is sick, fever, fell down, you know the drill.

If you live in THIS house, things aren't always 'normal'. Well, what's normal anyway?

Today, apparantly I missed a call on my cell phone and never knew it till four hours later. I was in the car with the Oldest and the Littlest and sitting in very still traffic. Looked at my phone and realized, oops, voicemail waiting, missed call. I'm listening to the message and I'm looking at the Oldest in the rear view mirror as we continue to sit in the sucky traffic and here is how it goes:

"Mrs. M, hello this is Mrs. C the school nurse. I just wanted to call and tell you something unusual happened here at school today with 'the Oldest'. He ate a worm. He seems ok but I would watch him. He may get naseous or have a stomach virus in a day or two in which case you may want to take him to his pediatrician. If you have any questions blah blah blah etc etc etc"

Silence.

I'm still looking at him in the rear view mirror. But now in disbelief. No, strike that, utter shock. He ATE A WORM? I slowly put the phone down. I say to him, "Oldest, you said you had a fantastic day today, did anything unusual happen?" --"No" he says. I reply, "Are you SURE?" "uh uh" to which I say, "Oldest, are you really sure nothing unusual happened today? Anything you aren't telling me?" And suddenly, the light goes off in his eyes. I see it happen, it's a glance away, a certain jerk of the head and eyes and then the eye contact where we both realize we both know what I'm talking about. He then quietly says to me, "Did you get a voicemail?" Uh yea. I did. "YOU ATE A WORM? Was it DEAD? Was it ALIVE?"

He just looks at me. "It was dead mom!!!" I ask him a zillion questions, "was it crunchy? was it mushy and slimy? did someone dare you? you better tell me the truth!" He starts crying, in the most dramatic voice in the world, "I ate two worms Mom they were slimy but I thought they were dead! Are you MAD at me? Are you DISAPPOINTED in me? AHHHHH (loud crying here)" I'm just looking at him. I have no answers. I can say most of nothing. This is what I say, "You ate TWO worms?" This is all I could say. What could I say? It was done! Holy Cow he ate two live worms.

Can I tell you that approximately two-three weeks ago, we as a family watched How To Eat Fried Worms? And can I tell you that it was the most disgusting movie I think I've ever seen in my whole life? He watched it three times total, twice after without us.

So this little girl calls him over and says, "Look I found this worm" and according to him, he takes this as she was egging him on (and I'm sure she so was not) and he said to her, "So I can eat that worm." and so it began and he not only ate one but he ate two. GL.

Boys. They get dirty. They get stinky. They play with action figures and make pretend scenes. They are rowdy and adventurous and loud and raucous and they eat worms. Apparantly they do. Really? Are you kidding me? No one ever told me this would happen. I didn't sign any waivers that my sons would possibly try to eat worms. There is no book for this stuff. I'm flying by the seat of my pants people. He said he didn't want to talk about it anymore and not to worry he'd never do that again because it was gross anyway. And he didn't throw up? Nope. Still hasn't.

For breakfast as a joke, I'm going into the front garden and finding the best worm I can. I'm serving it to him on a plate. Watch me.

The joys of motherhood! Love it.