Fear

So the Littlest is entering this phase where he is afraid of odd random things. Things that normally he'd never notice or notice and not care about. I remember going through this with his big brother. I better take hold of my veritable seat. It's going to be a bumpy ride!

Tonight as I was putting him down, we had just finished reading (btw he likes three books and will always ask for more but three is my limit!) and we were rocking for a minute and suddenly we hear the chime on the door that leads to the deck and then this pounding and bounding on what I thought was the stairs. I saw a shadow under the door and assumed it was the Oldest contemplating whether or not to come in the room. I was right BUT it freaked out the baby. He kept saying, "hear that?" "whas that? hear that?" then he balled himself up into me and clenched his eyes closed like he didn't want to see what it was. So I thought well, let me take him back out into the hall and show him it's his brother, we go outside of his room and Oldest is already back downstairs (more booming). He's freaked out, more of the "hear that?" "scared" and clenched body, fists and eyes into my shoulder now. Good LORD! I keep soothing him, it's ok, it's ok, it's just your brother but he was done, and then with a muffled cry he looks up at me and says, "room?" he wanted back in his room, maybe where he felt safer? So we go back and I hold him, comfort him, and again he's all balled up into me, like he couldn't get close enough and he kisses me gingerly and says "ted bear blankelet (pause) bed?" he wanted me to lay him down and go. Wanted his teddy bear, his blanket (called blankelet) and his crib. I layed him down not really wanting to thinking he'd start crying or just be scared but he made not one sound and his eyes my Lord you could not pry them open he just layed still as a board and his eyes were squeezed as shut as he could get them; poor thing. I felt BAD leaving the room. Clearly he was freaked out. But I slowly left and I looked back, he looked frozen still. Usually he's wiggly and moving around to get comfy or flips over, just movement in general. Not tonight, he was scared. And he was! Poor bubba.

Last night something similar but he was playing in his brothers room and something spooked him and he came flying out of there and jammed into my legs and held on for dear life. "Scared?" he said. So this morning he stands in the doorway of his brothers room and just looked in, "scared?" he said. So here we go. I have to be patient and try to help him overcome whatever thing it is. He's figuring out stuff, maybe boundaries and not feeling as safe as he did when he was littler? I don't know. I'll have to research it.

Ever changing round here. Ever changing.

-jenn