I swear, I have lots going on in my life. I am proud of Noah and it shows but maybe these days I'm just looking at him in a different light. Maybe because the baby is coming so soon, maybe because he really is growing up, maybe because I'm just appreciating him and all that he offers to our lives, I don't know. We have this running thing, I keep telling him not to grow up. I think I tell it to everyone. I tell it to him all the time. He just looks at me and smiles, "mom I have to" or gives me a devilish grin and says "I won't stop growing". Every night when I give him his vitamin, he takes it with zest. I pretend I don't want to give it to him and because I'm pretending that, he wants it more and pops it in his mouth so fast, I couldn't get it back even if I wanted to. He knows it helps him grow and he's hell bent on making me know he wants to grow up. It's like a little game.
Thank God for you Noah. You have been my safety vest in very troubled waters. You won't understand that now, but one day you will. You have helped me move on, even if I only moved a little, it's better than what would have happened if you weren't here at all. I can't even imagine that. Not at all.
Mamma.
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