So many things...

So many things. Sometimes, lists help me. Sometimes I can't even think straight enough to get the paper and pen to MAKE the flippin list. I am faced with the ever loving question-what to do with my life? I think of it often. Yep, back to the refried dreams thing. Mamma? Always to be a Mamma. And a good one at that. With all my heart and soul-forever.

A Director? I think so, but I don't know. I mean I like it and it challenges me and I think I do a good job and people respect me (maybe) but is it my lifes dream? Truthfully? Honestly? Probably not. When I think of what I wish in my heart what I were doing, it's more like, party planning and event planning and owning an establishment where people can come and celebrate different things in their life. Do you know that this takes? It takes guts. It takes sticktuitiveness (sp) and it takes committment. And a writer? Oh yes. With such an exclamation point do I want to be a writer! But so many things...just stuff. The stuff of life. Big decsions and little ones. All to be made smartly no doubt. If you make just one dumb decision, then you start off on this path of wandering or going down the wrong way, wrong turn, just one wrong move and it's all to heck. Anything can be fixed, yep it can but it takes such effort to really back track a lot. And you have to be a risk taker. If your partner is not a risk taker, it makes it that much more tougher. Even more of a challenge. What to do..what to do....

My comfort zone is just that but it can be a very hectic and stressful one. And it very much is. I take on more than I should and then I feel the tension rise. Fix it I must. I don't know. Just so many things....it boggles the brain, it jumbles the senses. It can break you down. I'm proud of my accomplishments but there is so much more to do....so many more things. I am so young... oh yes time to sign off, I'm rambling so much, I'm starting to scare myself.

Fix it I must. ---Yoda.

Jenn