It's been a month since I've been here and written. Sometimes it's just like that. Too many things that take up my time have taken priority. And so it goes....
I like my life. I have arranged it just so. We have arranged it just so. We have enough. We have enough love, we have enough things, and we are busy enough. Could always have more, but why...when we have enough?
I do not overload my plate anymore. Sure, I'm as busy as that woman up there, but what mom isn't? I have learned how to say no. I might want to do something and be in charge of that thing---- but I hear the voice that says, "you have enough, maybe next time". I know my limits and they just are what they are. Each day brings a new realization and sometimes I think to myself, "well my God, why didn't I think of that before?" but on the whole, my plate is full enough. I feel I'm living life and enjoying it as it was meant to be. Well...but for one small thing which I'm making my way towards this year, but other than that, my plate is nicely filled. When I feel things start hanging off and the stress level rise, I pull back. Not worth it. Not at all. I see some running the rat race and sometimes negatively so, and I watch and listen, trying to learn, always.
For someone who has lost a child, it all has been put in perspective. I'm fully aware of my neighbor who has lost a child and I'm keenly intuitive to her moods (as I see her in the yard or driving away or a quick hello) and I know. I know. And so it goes. Life does move on and we have a choice.....mine is not to pack my time with things all at once.
I am beginning to like my life and all the things in it. I really am.
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