We

Are so blessed. We are happy. We have a loving relationship. We love these boys and we both try to make it all work. Does it always work? Mostly; yes. Always; no. But that's ok, isn't that the beauty of life?

We only live once. We are only alive once. Tonight it struck me as the Oldest and I were reading together, Charlottes Web. It has taken us a really long time to get through this book, not because it's difficult but simply because he hops around in his readings, books, etc. We are reading a part that makes you begin to think and predict about death; the impending death of Charlotte. We had a very revealing conversation about the subject and I have to tell you, I was full of pride, emotion, and tears that I never let fall. He is a wonder to me. At the end of our discussion in which he revealed to me that 'You know Mom you can't live forever, no one lives forever, you can only live forever in Heaven where you get to see your baby brother and other people you know and love', I asked for a hug. What can you say to that? Unled by me, he wandered down the road of, 'tell me again how Lucas got sick, I know he died of a virus, that's what I told my friends in my class' (really? sure, a virus ended up being one of the things that weakened him more but then I wanted to set this little seven year old straight, I think he's able to hear it now, not all the details maybe but the general ideas; yes) and our conversation was so surprising. I walked away wiser, and more in tune with where he is. More proud. Wow. I didn't know he had told anyone of his friends at school about Lucas. I just didn't. I mean, of course, no big deal, whatever, but just surprising.

Live once. Live it now. Do your best. It's all you can do. We can do. We all make the world the place we live in. Our lives, our families lives, our friends lives and we're all connected without knowing it sometimes....