Do you know what it's like to go through life thinking, feeling, knowing, that not a lot of people GET you? Not saying that in a negative way; really. It's no one's fault. I think many people try to get me but either have given up or just accept me without knowing how to get me, get what has happened to change me. GET that even though I have a new baby boy and the oldest is the absolute light of my life in every way (and how he can drive me nutty everyone knows), I still very much grieve for my son, Lucas. How can you be both? Sad, wistful, anxious, yet happy with the wonderful life you have? You know what? I don't know. I don't know how you can, how I can, but it is. I am. I can't explain it.
For all the love I have in my heart, every ounce of it is matched with a dropling of wanting the past back, wishing I could change it, angry I can't and sad he really left us. Sad he really died.
She gets me.
Thank you Tammy. Thank you with everything I am and have. I know there are others who get it, who try to get it and I'm not saying you rock over them, you just express it so well, just when I need it. Maybe that is what friends are for. And for that, I owe you a lot. Friends don't ask much do they?
Go here.
http://www.jardna.blogspot.com
I sobbed through the last half. I'm glad I was alone. Others might have thought me insane. Thanks to all of you who reach out, its nice to know we are not alone, I dont' think we are, but it's a nice affirmation that we are not.
Love to you.
Jenn
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
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