I was just putting him down for his nap and kind of let my emotions overcome me. I wonder so many things, so much. Look how happy he is. I wonder if ANY of him is a shred of his brother, Lucas. Would God have let some of Lucas be kind of born again in him? That is such a big, huge question.
Yesterday, we were letting the littlest walk back and forth between us and he was so happy, squealing and squawking, I just started to cry. This is how twisted I have become. I'm happy and I cry, because I'm thinking of Lucas and that he isn't here. I stopped, I mean, I let it out, then I made myself stop. Be done with it.
Regardless, look at that happy boy. I mean, who couldn't be happy looking at that face? His first time in the pool today ever. He loved it. Kicked his feet like a pro, made himself go in circles just by kicking his feet. The camera was in my hand in seconds. Like a magnet. Had to capture it on film (so to speak).
No fear. Hasn't learned it from me yet I guess. I'll try not to teach it.
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