I have to write this stuff somewhere and this seems perfect.
Noah was such a big boy today about getting on the bus. As soon as it came up the road, he ran right to it and was second on the bus. He left me in the dust, didn't even say bye to his mamma. When did it happen? When did he get so grown up? I have been telling him for eons not to grow up. (big sigh)
I've been thinking and worrying about him all day. Literally all day. He's probably as happy as he can be, learning a new environment, having fun at school, making new friends and here I am with Jacob, worrying myself to death. I know he's fine, of course he's fine! It's the parents who worry eh?
Ivan just called me. He slips in at the end of the conversation that he'll be the one to pick Noah up. Right I say! Not! I'm picking him up! He laughes nervously and says "I want to be a part of this too, I have to pick him up too." Fine, fine, fine, we'll both pick him up. It's only right. So then it dawns on me, I've not been the only one worrying and wondering and thinking about him all day, so has his Daddy. Well of course, we both love him immensely and it's the first day school, the first day of a new era, of a whole new life for him. It all starts now.
I thought I'd be fine as I walked him to the bus stop this morning. I wasn't even feeling teary at all. As soon as he RAN to the bus and didn't say good bye to me (stinker--Mr. Independant), I felt the hot tears threatening to stream down my face. There were so many other mommy's around me I dared not do it. I held it in. I watched the bus drive away and waved till I couldn't see it anymore. Sure did. Then I walked home talking with another mom, nice and calm like all was fine and well. Noah, everyone knows how proud we are of you. I'm sure it literally eeks out of me 24-7. Later, when I'm done with all this 'blogging' and I print it all for you and your brother to read one day when you can 'get it'...you'll see how much even the littlest things impact us and impact you and how much we have loved you always. All of you boys..
Life is about to change. Jacob has changed it all in his own little commando way (he's the boss of it all now--what he says goes no doubt) and Noah is starting a new day...
Hey, it's the start of a new day isn't it?
---J
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
2 comments:
My son started preschool the other day and I was a wreck. He ran into the classroom and never looked back. I had to call him twice to say goodbye to me. I held myself together although there was a nice lump in my throat. Then on his 2nd day he cried so hard and they had to pry him from my leg. That was worse. I cried my eyes out the whole way down the corridor until I called my husband. It is so hard to see your little ones grow up but it makes you so proud too...
WOW Noah. Congrats. First day of school. YIKES.
You ok mom?
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