Here we go..

It's Monday. It will be a great week; the sun is shining, the weather will be fantastic for at least the first three days of the week, what more could one ask for? Not much.

We are getting settled into the house, little by little. Boxes? Yes, there are still boxes...I would be lying if I said they were all gone. I WISH they were all gone. So I think we need to have a yard sale to clear out the funk and clear our plates and just be done with it. I think we will. There may be a clashing of the minds, but we will have a yard sale... Yard sales can be good. I haven't had many-wait, I've never had one. Ok, so I've never had one. But I think they can be good. Like cleaning out the cobwebs of your mind; no? Kay that's how I view it. We will have a yard sale.

I look around the house and it's becoming more like home and I'm feeling more and more comfortable in it. Like alright, I'm supposed to be here now. Before, when we first moved in, I can't really describe it, but I was feeling strange about everything. Maybe still holding on to the past of our old house and how we had made that exactly what we wanted; our comfort zone. We'll do it again and I'm feeling better about all that. Noah loved it immediately. No questions asked, he just loved it. Yesterday I asked him what if we moved back to the old house what would you do? He said he'd be sad. Oy. Not a hint of nostalgia like I'd been feeling. Kids. Well, anyway, why should he feel that way? It's as it should be. A child shouldn't have all that gunk in their emotional closet; they'll get it soon enough. So tell me to leave him alone about it. I will, I will....

Work is about to get more intense to the nth degree and I'm slowly preparing myself for it. Back in the old days, before I gave birth to Lucas, this was my stomping ground, I was comfortable in it, I was in my element. As you know many many things have changed and while I hold basically the same position with the same wonderful company, my true role has changed....so now with the other director soon leaving for maternity leave...it's all going to intensify for a while before I GO OUT ON MATERNITY LEAVE. She first, then me. I am mentally preparing as you can see. More like mentally pre stressing. How bout that? That's the real truth of it.

One day it will all make sense, I'm sure. Life, being a mom, working, being healthy (only speaking mentally right now-the physically healthy part I'll focus on later and dang, that's one more thing to worry about_)....balancing the us the we and the me....why is that always so complicated?

I won't be able to figure it out here-----------I'm out for now..
J