Great Black Wasp Part II

Somehow, every year, usually in summer, one gets in our house. Is this normal? Usually we first notice it by the fireplace. Dear God do not tell me we have a wasp nest in our fireplace and that they will slowly feed into the house this summer. I think, no, I know, I will have a heart attack. With all the drama I can muster up, I will surely have a heart attack. It's the same as last time, I go into freak out mode. I just know they want to kill me. I just know they are coming and making a *beeline* straight for my throat or heart, probably my heart.

Hands in the air, screaming for a man to help me (last time it was my Dad, remember?) and save me, I run, no bolt to a completely different part of the house, go into the bathroom with the Littlest and close the door till I hear all is safe to come out. Now, Dear God, I know for a fact I am teaching my children fear, but I truly cannot maintain my composure during these ordeals because I AM MORBIDLY AFRAID of bees, wasps, things that sting and fly. I cannot help it. No joking, all kidding aside, I really turn into a ditzy woman when confined in my own home with a wasp. My husband saved the day, I heard the deed and the throaty yell from him as he did it and then, I came out a composed, normal woman who happened to be holding the hand of my scared little three year old. Yep. I did.

Once when I was little, I was mowing the grass in the back yard, maybe I was ten or eleven, and a bee started chasing me (no, really, it wasn't just in my mind, he really did) and I let go of that lawn mower and ran for my dear life straight into a wire from a laundry line and about decapitated myself. Dead, right there I could have been all because a bee was chasing me.

God help me if one of these things actually stings me one day. I mean I really do not know what I'll do. I'm sure it won't be pretty.