So how about tonight at volunteering (me and the Oldest volunteer once a month at a local Assisted Living Home) I got a little mad. We do an Ice Cream Social when we go and it's been close to a year now that we've gone. They have gotten to know us, love the kids (Oldest is not the only one in our group we have come to form), and love the ice cream. We have our favs :) and they get seconds if they want it. --Tonight I noticed a new resident. Ms. Ruth. She was sitting with her full plate of dinner in front of her and staring at the ground. I went to offer her a bowl of ice cream but didn't give it because I noticed her untouched food. Asked a nurse and she said 'you can try but she won't eat'. Hmm. In my world, that's a challenge.
I go over, and talk to her quietly to garner her trust. She has early onset Alzheimers the nurse said so my approach was gentle. She didn't understand it was dinner time. When I asked her if she was hungry she wouldn't answer me only asking me other questions and I could tell she was confused. More gently, I tried again. Would you like to taste the ice cream, I can help you with it...she finally agreed to try a small bite. I didn't want to force her so I was borderline timid at first. She kept asking what she was supposed to do next and it was obvious to me she needed help. I asked her name and we began to hit it off. She knew her name. I told her she was a sweet soul and that made her smile big. I was in. Guess what? With my help, she ate the entire bowl of ice cream. She realized how hungry she was after the first taste. As I sat on my knees on that probably very dirty cafeteria floor, I talked with her and fed her. Next up, the bowl of vegetable soup and she went through half of it. She wanted to know my name and she didn't want anyone around the table, paranoid of the lady cleaning up the table and even paranoid about the Oldest who came up to ask me a question one time. I would explain who folks were and what was going on and she was fine. My goodness, my heart was breaking. As I watched three nurses sitting and gossipping in the back corner I began to get angry. I wasn't angry to be doing what I was; just the opposite, it filled my heart and I was grateful to be helping her and for the experience. I was getting angry at them, that they just assumed she wouldn't eat. Look how easy it was for me to get her to eat!
I helped her drink her tea. I talked to her some more. She wanted to know when I was coming back. I wondered whether she would remember me next month. I cleaned her up and told her what would happen next; the nurse would come and take her to her room for the night then she'd come back in the morning for breakfast. Someone would help her. I hope. I left her table after about 20 minutes and made my rounds to chat with the other residents. Right before we left, I went back to Ms. Ruth to make sure she was ok and to say goodnight again and as I approached her she looked up and said, "Hi!" like she'd never seen me before. I don't think she'll remember me next time; it'll be a month till then. Doesn't matter. I'll do the same thing and gladly. In fact I may go once a week, just stop in and chat and check in on Ms. Ruth. See if she needs help eating her dinner. Just takes a little time. A little of my time, a little of the Oldest's time....,.I hope it goes a long way.
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
1 comment:
Big hugs to you. Isn't it the best? I love being at the hospital. It's not the best place to be sometimes you see lots of things that break your heart. But you help those that needed. I think sometimes the staff is tired of giving and helping and have become hardened to the demands. So glad you do this. LOVE IT.
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