They're Only Blueberries

Sometimes in life, I think we're meant to be at a certain place at a certain time. Fate. God's silent push for things to fall into place just so; you drop your wallet and stop to pick it up but seconds earlier you'd have been hit by a car or you DON'T drop your wallet, you caught it by the edge and saved the extra seconds and got hit by the car. Either way-it happens just how it was supposed to. Agree? Our hardships are grains of sand. What is that song? By Carrie Underwood? She sings a song that says, "Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand and what you've been out there looking for forever, is in your hand." Agree. I get all clogged up sometimes in why why why? Why me? Why this? Why now? But you know, there IS an answer. The answer is because. Just because. The answer is 'show me how you deal with it', the answer is, ' you are this strong, you just don't know it, now keep going. look back later and be proud'. Just when you think, ok, I give, this is it, I'm happy but not all days and that is ok but you think it with a tinge of sadness, like a sad lining but all the stuff in the middle is happy? Just when you think that, you have a clarifying moment. Mine came today.

I'm leaving Costco. In a hurry, going fast, had just enough time to get home and get the Oldest from the bus stop and I mean just.enough.time. Any traffic jam would make me late "just enough time" type thing. So I'm fast walking to my car and I see this couple walking together. I should have seen it coming. There could easily have been a sign flashing over their head saying, "Warning, epiphany coming!" but I still wouldn't have seen it probably. The man is holding a box. You know how they do it. At those warehouse places, they have boxes and cartons and put all your stuff inside. Clearly bags make companies go broke, bags to provide their customers; I digress, what's new. So he's holding a box. Walking. She's holding his arm. They are not old. It was like the arm in arm thing. I love walking like that with my honey. I always put my arm through his arm. I think that is why I was riveted to them, I sensed something in common there. I'm not sure how or why, if he tripped or she pulled his arm but suddenly, a plastic container of blueberries fell to the ground and hundreds (and you know, warehouse portions, more for your money are bigger than normal grocery store containers) of blueberries go everywere, all over the street. I sucked in my breath. This is my reaction. I suck in my breath. Imagine the sound. I can hear it now. Add drama. This is me, dramatically sucking in my breath. Thoughts that flew through my mind......'oh my goodness what a waste! look at those blueberries all over the street, what a mess! I bet she's livid with him!' I watch them, I slow my walk. I want to see what will happen next. I know what would happen if that were me and my husband. We are firey. Too much passion. Whoever had been holding those blueberries, poor soul, that they would have been would have gotten quite a tongue lashing. Be more careful! Take your time! What a waste! Guilt and anger and then the offending party would feel attacked (well my LORD who wouldn't in that scenario?) and it would snow ball resulting in a bad afternoon or something like that. Here is the beauty of it all. Here is what I saw. And here was my clarifying moment.

The wife slowly bends to pick up the container and she smiles. SHE.SMILES. She says as she's looking at the blueberries all over and then back at the container, "They're only blueberries." and the husband calmly looks at her and gives her an acquiecsing smile and takes the container back and puts it in the box. They look at the ground and keep walking. Really? That's it? No words? No sharp words? Either way? Not him to her for making it happen or her to him for letting it happen? Not "what a waste of $7.00?" Nothing? Just love? Yep. I remember thinking, "I was meant to see that." Very plainly. Very calmly. They're only blueberries. But guess what? They ARE only blueberries. And should the spill have been worse, broken glass, broken camera, lost diamonds, the point is, it's all in how you handle it. Lesson learned.

I walk through this life trying the best I can. I want to be a good person in all that I do. Sometimes we are fueled by those around us and we respond accordingly. Pavlov's theory. For me, it's time to step out of my box and control and carry myself even better. I saw that today. It was a message from someone. I got the message. Check. I'll return the call later, for now, while I'm still processing it, just know I'm on it. I'm so on it.

Jenn