Maybe four hours of sleep last night. Crying. Talking. Worrying. Woke up to pale face, puffy around my eyes and red eyes themselves. Look like something warmed over.
Something is the cause of my angst.
I took the two large pictures of Lucas down last night. One was Lucas myself and the Oldest. The other was Lucas, his Daddy and the Oldest. Those were the heaviest pictures in the entire world. You wouldn't know from looking. But they were.
I put one picture of the Littlest in one of the empty places. It's still there. Nothing on the other side. I think I cried the hardest because of that. I'm taking the picture down of the Littlest. Art work will go in the two empty places.
That's the end of that. I could write for hours why this upset me so much. I finally got the courage and true to form (my form) I just suddenly did it out of the blue, like a challenge to myself. The two pictures will be hung upstairs.
Maybe I'll have a Pepsi for breakfast. I need something.
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
2 comments:
sending you hugs today and i hope you enjoyed your pepsi! love ya cousin! tracy
Why did you take the pictures down? Why did you move them upstairs? Is it to not to upset others? I am confused. Did I miss something? DId you just need a change in that spot?
Yes I am sure that was very difficult.
Hugs
T
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