I am not the only one. I so am not. I read this and I know, with all that I have, that I am not the only one. The only one who feels guilt, the only one who pretends, the only one who in her brain knows she did her best for her son who is no longer here but in her heart questions it all--a LOT.
I am thankful, ever thankful, for knowing I am normal. That it DOES hurt and it isn't going to go away.
BUT having said that, having read what T wrote, I agree with her in her last two paragraphs and you have heard me say it before,
" I am very aware I am standing at a crossroads, and the direction I take will not only impact my life and my husband’s, but that of my children as well. I must not sacrifice my family as they are now in an attempt to recreate the family I had once. I must honor all of my children, not just the ones who passed.
So I must busy myself once again. But this time, instead of filling my hours trying to avoiding my feelings and fears, I’m going to try and embrace them. Maybe, finally, I will know what direction I am supposed to go."
I so agree. Thanks T.
Jenn
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
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