The Question I Have Feared Has Now Befallen My Ears

OMG.

Last night at dinner, the Oldest starts talking about Santa. Santa this and Santa that. Just little things, little conversations, innocent banter between us all. Then it happens. He mumbles something about the kids at school with the word Santa peppered in there. Red flag shoots all the way up to the Heavens. RED FLAG with horns playing in the background. Huh, I say, what was that you said? More mumbling and looking at his plate. Eh? This is abnormal behavior from my child, he NEVER mumbles. And he ALWAYS makes eye contact when he's talking to us. Fear gripping my heart, I push forward. "WHAT are you saying Oldest? I cannot hear you, why are you MUMBLING?" He then looks up at me and then looks at his Dad and says, "Kids at school said there is no Santa." Calmly he said it. All the emotions were leaking out of my every pore, because you know it's so important to me that he believes in Santa. Why, I'm not really sure why. Because it's a magical time, it's a magical thing to believe, because it means he is still a child, a little boy, because I really beleived when I was little too. Just because. I then pretend as best I can, without looking at my honey, to be ever so calm like nothing earth shattering was just said, and I say, "that's just ridiculous, who told you such a thing? and if Santa is not real then who puts those toys under the tree every year?" to which he even MORE calmly replied, "well they said you did it, that our parents do it" DAMN IT! I was speechless and thank goodness my husband piped in and said, "well those kids just don't believe, Oldest, so that's sad for them, of course there is Santa." I then asked him, "Do YOU believe in Santa?" and he said that he did and he looked at me when he said it so I think we're ok but there you go. The seed of doubt has been planted at the age of 7, when other loud mouth kids go ruining it for the others who believe still.

I know parents cannot control what their children do and say, but let me just say I am SO MAD right now. He told me who told him and that child is a trouble maker. I wanted to call those parents and tell them what their child did but I know this is crazy and really, what can you do? If a child has been told or figured things out, I would like to think that the parent has reminded the child that others might still believe and to keep the secret to themselves.

---ticks me off.

Jenn