King of the Household

So. We discovered the baby has both ears infected when we took him on Friday morning. He's been taking medicine, seems to be getting better and that's a relief. I truly can't stand to see him so sick; really what Mom can? Well, while we were there, of course we discussed how many ear infections he's had since he was born and blah blah blah it's a lot. He's sort of on the border of them just putting tubes in his ears but we are taking the wait and see approach, we'll keep our fingers on the pulse of that. I don't want to rush to do it but totally will do it the second we feel he hands down needs it. I think we are moving in that direction. The Pediatrician (this is the new one) said "it isn't helping he still has his pacy". Something about the sucking motion associated with pacifier use hinders proper eustachian tube function (which normally keeps the middle ear open and clean). Well you'll be pleased to know that since then (and I digress here) I have done a bit of research and dang if she isn't right. AND to boot, research shows that pacy's should only be used during the first ten months of a baby's life when the sucking motion is really strong (or the need for it). Anything after that is just the baby bossing us around which brings me to my next point..... I tried oh I tried to get my points in there, to tell her, to assert with all I had that, "wait a second, he ASKS for it, I'm not just GIVING it to him" (lets be clear on that so if I'm exhibiting PPS then you know, you need to have the facts straight at least..) Good Heavens. She wasn't having it. She looked at the floor and then she looked at his chart (with a vacant stare, she wasn't reading) and then she looked at me with a kind of small smirk on her face and then said, "boy who runs YOUR family? the baby?" Seriously, seriously, is she serious? Uh, YEAH, he DOES run our family, he's the King of the Household. I mean, of course, I'm being facitious, but of course, kind of at this age, what he wants, says, needs, goes.

SO. I'm the bad guy, I give him what he wants, my husband is all, take it from him, he's fifteen months old, just take it. Wow. I think that is harsh and I should slowly wean it away. It turns out, he can make it through the entire day without it. He asks for it, and we just ignore when he says it. Pretend he didn't just say it. Redirect him. Bring up something else, tickle him, he forgets, then gets involved with other things and maybe an hour or two later, he might ask again and again, we redirect etc etc. Today at daycare while I was at work, they said he went the WHOLE day without it, not even at naptime did he need it. His teacher willingly gave it to him for 20 minutes when he woke up from nap so he wouldn't wake up the other kids. I'm ok with that now but once he's officially all done, then no, can't do that. The only time I see him needing it for me is sleep time. Like he asks for it, whimpers, asks again, fusses, looks for it, is not happy. Tonight I got him to sleep without it but just now, he woke up screaming and I gave it to him. See how weak I am? He literally passed back out, layed right down, nigh nigh. Instantly. He wanted that pacy.

Its' hard. The Oldest never wanted this pacy stuff. Ever. So this IS all new to me. I want him to be happy but I realize the pacy is not helping him, it's making him dependant on something that he shouldn't be, especially at this age. As the pediatrician pointed out, at this age, he should be able to satisfy his desire for the pacy in some other ways and be able to deal with it. I agree but the hard part is actually getting it away from him now.

What do you do when the King wants what he wants? Oh yeah, it's our job to draw up the boundaries and keep them tight. Be the bad guy sometimes. Oh goody.

Jenn