If you never let yourself try anything, then you know, nothing will ever happen to you...

Ok, ok, ok. So I didn't exactly look like that. Minus the skirt and the one legged action, and ok, I didnt' have the bow in my hair...fine fine fine, there were no frasier fir trees in the background either. BUT I did have a lot of fun today ice skating outside with the Oldest. I had much more fun than I expected. We'll be going back for more. They were playing Christmas music, it was sort of a busy part of town, for a quick minute, I felt like I might have been at Rockefeller Center in New York City. Wouldn't that be cool?

So there we were, me at first hugging the walls and pretty much not letting go and the Oldest doing the same. I realized that I needed to venture out because really, if you never let yourself try anything, then you know, nothing will ever happen to you. Meaning, life will just whizz on by and no one is going to slow down and hold your hand because you are afraid. Real world. Fraid not. SO, I took a deep breath, and I told myself, if you fall, you fall. In fact that became my mantra. I even found myself telling it to the Oldest, "Come on buddy! Let go of the wall, if you fall you fall, that's how you learn!" (btw, it didn't work for him till much later).

I bravely edged out away from the wall and just started doing it, first pushing off and just gliding to get the feel of the ice. Then after about ten minutes or so, I went further out into the circle and got much braver, going faster and nowhere near the wall. I wasn't breezing by ANYONE, don't get me wrong, but faster for me was not going at a snails pace. If I felt I was going to fall, my hands flew out on both sides to balance myself. I'm sure I looked physically inept. Then I was really winging it when I went in towards the middle and turned around in a complete circle on my skates by just shifting my weight. I loved that feeling! I kept doing that thinking, "wow this must be what it feels like to be a figure skater" uh yeah. I'm sure that's what it feels like :).

Anyway by the time it was almost over, the Oldest was skating away from the wall and begging me to 'watch his moves' (his moves were nothing more than skating while not holding the ever loving wall but that's ok, I high fived him anyway and kept kissing his cheeks). He had a blast and even though he was relegated to the wall probably by the fear I taught him a long time ago, he still had great fun. As I literally skated circles around him, I was feeling guilty because I am sure, almost very certain that it was I who taught him to be afraid of almost everything. My husband is no help in that department as we both hover over him, I'm sure. But like with Nemo in Finding Nemo, where Marlin never thinks Nemo can do anything and he wants Nemo to beleive it so Nemo doesn't go off and do it and then get hurt? Because he saw the Baracuda fish eat his wife and entire family except for Nemo? That would be me, (Marlin) and the Oldest (Nemo) because we saw our son (his brother) die a horrible death (like in the movie, less violent of course but very same general theme).

If you never let yourself try anything, then you know, nothing will ever happen to you. Note to self.. Let him go, do, and be, he'll be fine and even if he isn't, and something happens, he'll still be fine. That's life. And man, that ice skating, now that was fun. And that was life. :)

Jenn