You'll miss it all. It flies. They grow. If you are too preoccupied, you will not see it. You only have one shot, you better do it right. You don't want to be at the end of your life wishing you could redo it all.
These are my child rearing years. I have lived for this. Truly. I have my dreams and they will come. I think it will start to be my time later, in 3-5 years. And that is ok. I don't want to look backwards and cry because I wasn't here. Mentally or physically. So I'm here. I'm at work a little, as much as I need to help financially and that's it. But I'm here.
It would be a tragedy if I did it any other way. If I did not learn from watching Lucas die. If I did not walk away from all that and know to my core that sacrificing, even a little, was worth it, so worth it. Do we dig into our savings? A little every now and then. Not ideal but there is time to build it back up. It doesn't matter. Money doesn't matter to me. That much is apparant by my spending style. It never has mattered much. Yes it drives me when I earn a good salary of course and it helps contribute to our family, yes. Of course. I have learned to respect money a bit more because of my husband. I can say that. But given the choice of being with my boys and making them the first priority, and earning more money or following my dreams, its easy. They win. Thank you Lucas for teaching me that. Maybe that is one thing I was supposed to learn from his birth and death and all the in between. To stop, enjoy life, smell the roses, and be there for the boys.
Nothing could be more important than that. I can't think of a single thing.
Jenn
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
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