Once Upon a Time

When I was younger (much younger) I wanted certain things. Specific ideas about specific things but not a huge list of them either. I was absolutely NOT a big picture kind of person. I was selfish. It's true that many young folks are, but I think it's unfair to say all young people are selfish. I don't think they are. I don't know why I was selfish, but I was. It was all about me. I remember always 'saying' I wanted 3-4 kids. The truth is if you want a family, children are usually part of that picture. What I didn't know was that it would come with time. And it would just happen when the time was right, with the right person. I was in a hurry to live life. I didn't really know about material things as far as wanting all the stuff you think you need to keep up. That would come later. I have been pregnant four times. I miscarried once and of course, lost Lucas, leaving me my two boys now, the Oldest and the Littlest. I had my three children. Out of all the things I have learned along the way, I have learned that they are worth far more than anything else I have or could wish to have.

Once upon a time, I was a young brat, who played tennis too much, whined for ridiculous things, and didn't appreciate what I had and life. I think I've grown enough to say I am no longer a brat, still love tennis but don't play anymore (product of busy life/laziness with busy life), don't whine anymore, and very much, in every way, appreciate all I have in life. And I'm only 36. I know some folks who are older than me who can't say that. Is it because of the path we've walked? Or is it just that it took this long for everything to click? Or both?

Whatever it is, I'm glad I'm where I am now. I'm glad I don't overindulge in silly things. I'm glad I don't worship the wrong stuff. I'm glad I've grown up. It's about time isn't it?

--J