Then you know that I'm a bit (maybe more than a bit but not more than a lot) high strung at times. Anal about the boys. Always on red alert when it comes to their safety and especially to what the oldest is taking in. Like on TV or just in general. I'm pretty opinionated but am open enough to listen to other thoughts; at least I make huge efforts to try. I really do.
The other day we were going to the grocery store and I was just mosying through the parking lot, trying to find a spot close to a cart drop off area. This young guy (maybe 20-25 or so) zips up in his little souped up Civic and slams on breaks opposite me on the other side of the road. I didn't et the feeling he was going for the same spot as me so I was confused as to why he stopped. He was close enough to the spot that he could have logistically already taken it instead of putting on the big show with his brakes and staring at me. Then he starts with the waving hand motions in the air. I've got both boys in the car. If I didn't, the outcome would have been much different I imagine. So I calmly put my hands up in the air like, "what? what is wrong with you?" but did not say a word (cuss words were flyin' in my head though) and he starts flailing his arms all around like a maniac again but this time yells out, "Go you retarded bitch!!" to which I could hear him, the oldest could hear him and the folks who were standing out chatting near where I was wanting to park could hear him. I looked around like, is he talking to me? Seriously, what did I do? I just pulled up for God's sake and I'm met with this. So I just calmly and slowly pull into the spot and roll the window down in the passenger side --look right at him and say outloud "Nice. Very nice." All of a sudden he rips behind me and screeches his tires and the oldest looked at me, just shocked. I told him that nice young man was just having a very bad day. He just shook his head yes with his eyes as big as golf balls. As I'm getting the boys out of the car, he pulls up behind me but on the other side of the road and ends up talking to that group of people (apparantly they knew each other and originally when I pulled up, I was getting ready to get in his way, I'm not sure). I just turn around and look at him, then look at them, and he looks at me more meekly this time and looks away. I think when he circled around he had a moment to think about how stupid his little display was and then when he saw I had two children, one old enough to take in the scene, he felt bad. He should! Forget that he called me the name, but his whole little show and race car Mario Andretti stunt was totally uncalled for, and over the top. I could have let that situation turn into something more. If I were alone, I probably would have. Stupidly, but I tend to do things without thinking as much when I'm alone. When I'm with one or all of the boys, I'm like a different person.
I'm kind of proud to say but know I will get a lot of flack from certain people about this, that we have parental controls on the TV. Anything at Y-7 or above, he has to come to us, tell us the name of the show, and if we agree, we input a 'secret' code into the TV so the show will display. Lots of shows fall under the auspices of needing a code, and yes, some of them he is allowed to watch. But nowhere near all. He likes Time Warp Trio and we have to put a code in for that. Kenny and the Shark, we have to put a code in for that. Sometimes Kim Possible needs a code, not sure why. The first two shows are PBS shows. He knows not even to ask about shows like CatDog, Avatar, SpongeBob, and what's this new show called Mr. Meaty? That just sounds wrong. What the heck? What is this world coming to, I've seen the previews and it's absolute trash. Well of course, I haven't sat down and watched an episode, don't even know if it's started yet but the previews, there is not one redeeming point of value to that show. Our kids are watching this crap. Don't get me started. I know, I know, I'm being holier than though, I'm up on my soapbox. I know. I feel that I am. But it just gets me. I think this and anyone else is wrong. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, do you know what your kids are watching? I mean, really? I will sit down randomly and just watch a show with him or pop in and out of the room to check, and he knows it. I think he likes it. He doesn't know what I'm really doing, but either way, it's win/win. If you know what your kids are watching, kudos to you. I know that kids need downtime and just to veg in front of nonsensical stuff just like we do. I get that. Spongebob is kind of that, sort of nonsensical but I think in that show, hidden between all the silliness are maybe some learning lessons but really what's the point in digging for those lessons if all the other stuff is so overt that's the only message the kid gets? Whatever, it's just TV and I'm analyzing it over the top. But I do firmly believe if that's all our kids are watching is the brain mush stuff, it's going to come out down the line in some way. That's why in this house, we have the rules we do.
So I'm kind of the TV patrol man I guess. I don't think he resents it. He has lately been asking, why can't I watch Ben 10? I watched some of it and it seems OK but just OK and the game on the website seems so dark. I nixed it. There are just better shows. Just as entertaining and also that from time to time teach. So I know I just probably alienated a lot of people and I'm sorry if I did. I also think at some point, I'll have to cave. I'd like it to be later than sooner. Later means, he's a tiny bit more prepared for being able to recognize brain mush stuff from the other stuff or determining right from wrong etc. So I'm just pushing for later. As later as I can get away with it for. It seems illogical to think that I can hold them back from shows that other kids their age (well at least the oldest for now) are watching but then on the other hand, and I think I've said this before, isn't it worth it to stand up even if you are alone in your stance for the things you believe in? Sometimes it's the hardest thing to do is stand up in front of a group of people (hypothetical) and oppose what they all think. How brave of you if you can actually follow through with what you say? I'm not the bravest soul I know, not even a little, but my convictions are strong and they help give me strength for the boys. So there you go. If you know me even a little, I didn't just tell you anything you didn't already know......
A Mom, A Wife, and a Writer. That's me.
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
1 comment:
Kudos to you Jenn. But a word of warning, eventually you might have to cave, but try to hold out. I'm speaking from experience here. I was the same with my oldest and as she aged I lightened up a bit. But when you do that in a house with a younger child, its very easy for that younger child to end up watching stuff that you want to keep them from. It's like the junk food thing.... my oldest daughter never drank anything but milk, juice and water until she started school, never soft drinks before. But then once she was drinking them it became much much harder to keep my youngest from them. This is probably confusing, don't mean to be. I'm just saying that its terribly hard to impose the same standards on the younger ones that we put on the older ones. So, be strong.
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