Somethings

There are some things I could easily write about. I chose not to. Tact. You know. I have an ounce or two of it.

There was this family we once knew. Boy was I dense. It really took me awhile to realize that situation was very bad. You would never know it at first glance (or second or third) but they were by all appearances, a normal, well to do family. Both parents had good jobs; one even a 'higher up' in City Government. That's the scary part. All kidding aside. That was the scary part. This persons manipulates and trys to get whatever she wants, uses her smarts to make it so. Gives the appearance she is a kind and caring person but really under the veil, she was very self concious, no self esteem, had no clue about parenting (and it showed big time, not just to me, to many many others) and kept track of all favors ever done for the other person. Her children were taking their toll on my child. Wild, ill mannered, mean, no listening skills whatsoever, off the hook, not their fault but bottom line, they were what they were. I had it. I cut ties completely. The mother did not get it. Was sad. Kept reaching out. Didn't understand (how could she, when you are that sick, you can't exactly see the chaos you live in, the chaos you breed) why I was 'walk away finished'. She previously had attempted to manipulate me about schools for my child, question why we wanted to move (she was one of the TOP reasons) etc. I tried. I even at one point was brutally honest with her about how people perceived her and her oldest child. I thought it my only option at that point. I was trying to help her but also I needed to get it off my chest. At that moment in time, we were really close to being at the end of our friendship but I still was making efforts. Again she didn't get it. Couldn't understand. There was some level of stalking between the husband and her with my husband and I. I finally had to say that the public wouldn't want to know what she was doing and then she got it. You see because of her position she didn't want anything negative said about her (although it would have all been 100% true). Finally she understood at that moment I suppose, that we really did not want anything to do with them. We had a circle of friends, other friends. We all called ourselves the Five Family Family. It all but dissolved at that point. Sadly, but necessarily. Very much so.

Now we are in the strangest of circumstances. She had a child approximately two months before I had the littlest. We now take our young babies to the same daycare. They are even in the same room. We put ourselves in this position so we have to deal with it. She has manipulated her way into the place our children go as it is supposed to be a place for employees of this facility only. She is not an employee of this facility. It makes me angrier than anything that knowing the history, knowing how she is (obsessive, manipulative, canniving), that she has been allowed to weasle her childs way into this supposed to be 'closed to open public' center. Regardless what can I do? I choose to bring my child there 2.5 days a week because I know he gets the best care (other than me) I can provide him. Those teachers love him like I do. And when I go off to work, that comforts me more than anything. Seriously. As overprotective as I am (and I really am) I know and believe they take excellent care of him, just as I do. So I suppose to that end, that other person deserves that for her child and that is really BIG of me. Because I really HATE that she is there.

What I have learned from this whole experience is that even now, almost two years later post the friendship I can accept. Even with anger. Even with knowledge. I can still accept. If I see either parent at the center, I don't let it scare me or go hide from them. I am indifferent.

Acceptance is a hard thing to learn. Give yourself enough time and gather up all the patience you have, and it will come. Maybe I need to apply this in other areas of my life as well; no?

Jenn