Parenting 101

Ok here goes. My take on parenting (again).

It is painfully clear to me when I am around our friends and in some cases family that we parent completely differently than many other people. We don't let the oldest watch WHATEVER he wants. We don't cuss in front of him (and NO we are not saints, we are just mindful that whatever YOU say, THEY will say and what are we freaks for doing that?). We DO have rules that make it obvious we are stricter than others. He does get away with stuff, yes he does. But we try to catch the big stuff. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue because I might be the only parent saying something in a certain setting. I have to measure; will this be ok, will it hurt him or someone else, can we just talk about this later? If the answers are yes, no, and yes, in that order then I try my best to let it slide. If the answers are no, yes and no then I say something THEN. I am fully aware that if you say something to your child at every single turn, not only does it fall on deaf ears (which sometimes it just does anyway because kids do turn off their hearing to you even in normal settings) but they begin to resist you for everything. It's all about picking your battles. Or doing your best to pick them. This is hard stuff people. I know for a fact that some of our friends and family think we are too strick or freaks. We were just in a situation the other day (well actually a couple this past week) where I could FEEL eyes on me, I just KNEW it. I shouldn't worry about it. My husband and I have talked about this at length and we both fully agree with each other; we are doing things the right way. We would not let our oldest son even though he's almost seven watch King Kong or War of the Worlds. Are we being too harsh? Maybe. Maybe not. BUT there is lots of violence in the first movie. Why subject them to that so early? I don't get it. It's like it's cool to let the little ones watch this stuff and you tell yourself it's ok, and hey, they didn't freak out or cry so they're all good right? Only what does it open them up to that you might not see at that moment in time. And the next movie comes out and we let them watch that one and the next one and before you know it, the children are immune to violence and sex and innuendo and BAM hello? That's PART (granted only part) of what is wrong today with some kids. So if we shelter him too much, go ahead, hang me by my toes. I personally believe that it will be the better for him. Of course, that's why this world spins the way it does. I'm allowed to believe and parent the way I (and my honey) believe is right and others can parent the way they feel is best. Who am I really?

All I'm saying is it's hard to stand your ground when others who you care about and who care about you do things so differently. I from time to time tell the oldest that sometimes he will not like the rules we put in place but that they will be for his own good. He seems to accept it and roll with it all. Not saying that there aren"t times he doesn't like it......just last night he said out loud afterI told him to do something he didn't want to (about four times) that there was a Mom in the room who had short hearing and he wanted me to guess who it was..... :)

I'm sticking to my guns. End of my rant...

j


AND let me add a half day later that I'm no angel either. My husband has been known to say he thinks I have a sailor mouth. So don't think I'm some kind of perfect person who thinks everyone else should be perfect. Uh uh. I just choose to watch my words ultra around the kids (well the oldest now cause you wouldn't WANT to know what I said in front of the littlest just this morning... but that will only last for a tiny bit longer, he's listening you know!) Kay. All done now.