Quick Minute

Sometimes I find my life loops. I have times of being relaxed and ok and other times I am just go go go go go and no time for anything AND worried, stressed, sad. Don't like it.

I'm going to take the boys on a walk today and bring the camera. I want us to go down to the big lake again. The trees are beautiful and in bloom. All white like popcorn trees but they are either pear or dogwood. Just a straight line right down the road way like a row of snow filled trees. But you have to be quick, they only stay like that for 4-5 days then they either turn pink or green depending on what kind they are. Every year in March. Sometimes, they bloom twice, once more in the summer. I'm not up on which one does which. I just know I love them. It's life recycling itself one more time. You know?

Sometimes I overextend myself. I just do.

Today I almost fell with the littlest in my arms. I was trying to do too much. My sister was there saying, never mind the high chair, I'll put it away and I said No I have it and I was kicking it with my feet. It was on wheels. My foot got caught in the bar at the bottom that was between the wheels and there I went. She says she grabbed me, but I didn't feel it. I saw his back bend sort of backwards and I could feel myself falling and I saw the old woman who was watching us with her husband put her hands to her mouth in slow motion and just somehow, I didn't fall. His back ended up on a table and I (and my sister) just caught the whole thing to stop the fall. My heart stopped and raced at the same time. Is that possible? He was fine. Didn't cry, nothing. But how stupid was that? All because I have to do it ALL. So stupid. Can't accept help. Nope. Not me. Uh uh. One of these days, I tell ya.

--I smell a tinky diaper. Time to tidy didy.

Jenn