We all have a story...

We all have our lot in life. We all have something to tell. Some of us have more than one thing to tell. If someone stopped us on the street and said, "Tell me your story." We'd have a lot to tell. Would we tell it? Maybe, maybe not. It's like when someone says, "How are you?" --- is there a difference when they say, "How ARE you?" Do you really want to know? Hmm.

I was at the park today with Noah and Jacob. There was a woman there, with two children who were playing. She was sitting, quietly reading and Noah was running, playing while I was focused on getting Jacob to settle in for a nap. Beautiful day. Gorgeous. Nice crisp breeze but the sun was out, loved it. Minding our own business at the park. Great. The lady leaves with her kids, we had exchanged a few 'niceties' and words and she was on her way with the kids. She turns and says to me, "Good luck with the baby!" and then Noah says to her, "I have another brother who died and now he's in Heaven!" and I want to cringe and for whatever reason, want to crumble into the mulch. I was not embarrassed, no, no way. Not that, but just why did he say that then as she was walking away? She turns and comes back all the way over to me. She wants to know what happened and why and tries to help me make sense of it and I continue to say to her, "I'm so sorry he told you that, don't worry about it, I'm fine." To which she says, "No, you're not fine, and you can't handle this alone and he will need to talk about it (which he has, we have, we ALL have to such extent, it's almost too much sometimes) and it'll just come out just like it did now so expect that and etc etc etc" . She tells me she is a professional speaker and she goes around speaking motivationally I think she said. It was almost one of those 'How ARE you?' moments. Like do you REALLY want to know? But she did. And she didn't even know me. Strange. Strange how it all transpired. And when she finally left, Noah came back to me from playing and said he knows I miss him and that he misses him very much too. I hugged that little boy so tight. What can you do with that? Just love him. He's quite in tune with me.

I bet that woman has a story. I bet she has lots of things that would intrigue me or anyone.

I have a very close and dear friend, Tammy, who has a story. She has more than one. She and I, we could go on Oprah together. Would be a good show. A good tear jerker. Lots of people I know 'have a story'. I bet you stop anyone--just anyone on the street. You ask them....they'll tell you.

So if someone seems pissy or if someone looks very sad--if someone just can't get it together at work or at home....I bet there's more to it. Maybe we don't even know. COULD never know...not unless we ask. Are you ok? How ARE you? Do you have time to listen up? I have to do better. I know I do. Know it. Full well. I feel that I am fully engrossed in my life right now. Have been for two and a half years now. I try to unravel myself and look around, making sure all is well. It's hard. It's hard to do. Maybe soon, my story, my 'lot in life' will not encompass my every waking moment. Am I selfish? Am I just trying to make it through? I don't know. As long as I'm aware of it, and try to do better, I figure, I'm on the right track...or at least, the track that is headed in the right direction. I'll get there sooner or later.

What's your story?

Jenn