This has been

The start of a new day. I can come here almost daily if I want, which I don't always have time for but if I want, I can. I can come here and write about whatever is twirling around in my brain. Maybe what is happening is I am gearing up for bigger things. Maybe this is all practice.

You know, I have this book I have begun and is halfway done. Did you know how long I've been saying "it's halfway done"? Quite some time now. I will finish it, I'm not worried I won't finish it. I wonder if all of this, and stuff on Lucas' site, all of it is sort of like me unknowingly practicing up . You know things happen and we do things, take certain paths and sometimes, we have no idea there is a purpose behind it. When I think about what I really want to do with my life, three things come to mind. In order of importance, they are: Be a wonderful mom from beginning to end, write Lucas' book (then subsequently, childrens books), and own my own event/party hall. What happens? Why can't I do that all now? I think I'm doing well on the first one so that's good, makes me feel good. Life gets in the way doesn't it? Too busy, here and there, we have to work don't we? Of course. Then you get home and it's (usually) homework, dinner, dishes, ready for bed (bath and reading and coralling the boy, it's not a quick process) and bam, night night. Maybe it's all excuses. To own your own business, you have to be somewhat of a risk taker; no? I have to rise to the occasion. One day, it will happen. Maybe when I get up the gumption or just gather up all the confidence I have, (since I have a little bit tucked here and there :) and do it. Nike. Just do it.

Maybe by the time I'm 40..... Kay I just bought myself five more years, that can't be good can it? Procrastination right before your eyes...

I'm trying to make it the start of a new day. There is all this 'stuff' in my life maybe once I weed through it, feel healthier about it, can see the big spotlight at the end of the tunnel, maybe then.
For now, I'm still saying, it's still the start of a new day, I haven't gotten much further-but I do think about it. Yes, I do.

Jenn