"Hello Mom and Dad, hope you have a good day. A hug and a kiss is what I'm gonna pay. "
then he runs over and hugs and kisses his dad and then runs over and does the same for me. So because the Littlest likes to mimic the Oldest, he then does the exact same thing.
too cute.
This is how the Oldest came downstairs this morning. All chipper and happy. Last week was a tough one. Go go go and get up early 630 am thankyouverymuch every day. I think he's getting back to normal now; no more grumpis. Hopefully.....at least that was a good sign....
:)
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Time
I have a bit of time and don't know what to do with it.
Starting a new deal in a day or two. Well now that I think of it, lots of new things are happening in a day or two. The winds of change thing; remember?
My husband will no longer be employed with the same company he's been with for 12 years. Wow. To me; huge. To him; exciting. Suddenly he's Mr. Risk and Mr. Bring It On. Never has he been this person before. It's very appealing to me. And alarming. But more appealing. Hmmm. I won't go there. I'll be quiet with my thoughts. ;)
So he's doing a complete career change. Entering the world of Financial Planning in some facet or another. He doesn't have it all mapped out yet (hence Mr. Bring It On and Mr. Risk) but he knows in general the direction he's going. I trust him. Won't say I'm not tiny scared but I do fully trust him so in the end, it's ok. Good for him I say. We only have this life and we need to do with it what feels right and makes us happy. Since we all walk to the beat of a different drum and that's what makes the world go round, takes all kinds you know, well, for all of that I say grab the bull by the horns and run like the wind bulls eye. Don't look back. I think I just officially put more 'sayings' in that last couple of sentences than I've ever said in two sentences before. Phew. You get the idea. We all should be happy. Some can't make it happen, life happens and gets in the way, slows us down and terrible distractions unfold. Some it just takes longer because they are happy at that pace. Some don't know any better. I say if you know better then do better. Thanks for that Oprah. She really was the originator of that little saying but I so 1000% agree with it. Know better so do better. Blah blah blah.
I'm proud of him. Go get 'em honey. Meanwhile back at the farm (boy I'm on a roll today) I'll be starting my own new deal. My attack on life. I'll clue you in as it slowly begins to take shape. Those last two words were a hint. ;)
PO
J
Starting a new deal in a day or two. Well now that I think of it, lots of new things are happening in a day or two. The winds of change thing; remember?
My husband will no longer be employed with the same company he's been with for 12 years. Wow. To me; huge. To him; exciting. Suddenly he's Mr. Risk and Mr. Bring It On. Never has he been this person before. It's very appealing to me. And alarming. But more appealing. Hmmm. I won't go there. I'll be quiet with my thoughts. ;)
So he's doing a complete career change. Entering the world of Financial Planning in some facet or another. He doesn't have it all mapped out yet (hence Mr. Bring It On and Mr. Risk) but he knows in general the direction he's going. I trust him. Won't say I'm not tiny scared but I do fully trust him so in the end, it's ok. Good for him I say. We only have this life and we need to do with it what feels right and makes us happy. Since we all walk to the beat of a different drum and that's what makes the world go round, takes all kinds you know, well, for all of that I say grab the bull by the horns and run like the wind bulls eye. Don't look back. I think I just officially put more 'sayings' in that last couple of sentences than I've ever said in two sentences before. Phew. You get the idea. We all should be happy. Some can't make it happen, life happens and gets in the way, slows us down and terrible distractions unfold. Some it just takes longer because they are happy at that pace. Some don't know any better. I say if you know better then do better. Thanks for that Oprah. She really was the originator of that little saying but I so 1000% agree with it. Know better so do better. Blah blah blah.
I'm proud of him. Go get 'em honey. Meanwhile back at the farm (boy I'm on a roll today) I'll be starting my own new deal. My attack on life. I'll clue you in as it slowly begins to take shape. Those last two words were a hint. ;)
PO
J
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The Oldest
Is getting older by the minute. Changing, growing, getting more responsible, all of that. Yet why do I feel I'm getting harder on him vs. easing up? Hmmm. I have to think about it. I think I know why. But I'll let you know. He's gonna be a good guy folks. No doubt. He's already the best kid in the world to me. By leaps and bounds I am so proud of him. I told him so today.
I love who he is becoming. I don't love how he thrives off irritating his little brother but I love who he is becoming. Big picture, when I stand back, the painting is starting to get less fuzzy and come in a little clearer. I love what I see.
I love who he is becoming. I don't love how he thrives off irritating his little brother but I love who he is becoming. Big picture, when I stand back, the painting is starting to get less fuzzy and come in a little clearer. I love what I see.
-J
Storms Brewin'
There was a big storm last week that produced hail I've never seen the size of in my life. Well, at least me for that matter. I'm sure bigger has fallen from the sky but I've never seen it. The lake was a white blur with waves and splashes and it was cool. At least I thought so. The Littlest? notsomuch. He clung to me and wanted a blanket on top of him and we were SWEATING. I was soothing him and holding him close. My honey got this shot. He wouldn't come out till long after the storm was done. Sweet moments. One day, he'll be too big boy and this will never happen then. I cherish it all.
-J
Give Me More..
You go and you go and you go. You do and you do and you do. Non stop sometimes. With no thanks, no appreciation, nothing. Sometimes you wish you had a cheerleading squad standing there cheering you on, helping pump you up. You fall into slumps at work, you don't know why, you try and try and when you are there, you work your *** off and still to no avail. What can "we" do better is asked of you. Wait, you mean, what can "you" do better don't you? Just ask the question, maybe the "we" thing works for most folks, makes them feel like they didn't really do anything wrong, the team did it, not them. For me, I'd rather not hear the patronizing technique of someone using the "we" thing on me to make me feel better and less confronted or approached on something I need to improve on. Please just say, "you need to improve, what can you do better?" I'm so fine with that. I so feel less like I'm being handled.
Back at home, there is no such thing as rest. It's non stop. Sometimes so much so that I just WANT to sit and be lazy and when I can, I do. I really do. Then I feel guilty after five minutes and I'm back up and tackling the world. I can't sit still because I want to get to so much, I don't know how to be quiet with myself, it's lots of constant moving.
How about people who take and take and take and never think of saying thank you? Just what can I get for free? Ya got anything for me? How many people will treat me and pay for my families meals? I'll tell you. Those people will get theirs in the end. Critisize with a smile on their face, "don't you think you should do this? got that going yet? did you get that done yet? come on chop chop lets go" and I tell you, I get quiet. I mean, quiet. When I get quiet, you better know my brain is brewing. I'm thinking about the best way to tell you what I think. And I'm thinking hard. I rarely let things come out of my mouth without a lot of thought. It might take me a minute (sarcastic for a day, a week, a month take your choice) but I'll get to telling you whatever is baking in my brain. Sometimes my silence says it all. I can't help it. I'm not "techniquing" you, it's just how I'm processing your ill manners and ungratefulness. Time for the bill at a restaurant? Did you offer to pay your more than fair share? Or just your fair share? Or anything at all? Have you done that ever? Hmmm. I'm not sure. I have not witnessed it. I can't say you haven't, I just have not seen it. More power to you if you have. I'd be glad to know it.
For some people in this world, it's never enough. I wonder what it would take for them to see the world as it really is? And the kids of those people? Phew. No thanks, no excitement, do it for me, oh my Lord I cannot stand it. They are doing nothing, not one redeeming thing for their kids. Most kids I know, in fact almost all of them know how to say thank you, show appreciation in their own way, are growing up fantastically. It's sad when I see the opposite. But hey, I'm not the police of the world, someone remind me, go ahead. I know. I come off as holier than thou. Mm hmm. I know. P.O.W. Police of the World. I know. But good LORD can you not see yourself? Just done. Don't you know when you go around stooping to help those around you, picking folks up, helping more in small or big ways, that's the way to be? That's how you teach your child success? Those are the things God measures us all by. I'm glad I have that in my heart and brain. My boys will be prepared for their lives. They may not like it now but I know they will love us for it later. Promise.
Maybe it sounds like I'm complaining. And maybe I am a little but it's more a venting session. Just saying it like it is. It is what it is. Quite simple really. Change doesn't come without dreams and reaching for more. First you have to be enlightened. Enlighten yourself. Go ahead. Make my day.
(Big sigh and I feel all loads better now)
Jenn
Back at home, there is no such thing as rest. It's non stop. Sometimes so much so that I just WANT to sit and be lazy and when I can, I do. I really do. Then I feel guilty after five minutes and I'm back up and tackling the world. I can't sit still because I want to get to so much, I don't know how to be quiet with myself, it's lots of constant moving.
How about people who take and take and take and never think of saying thank you? Just what can I get for free? Ya got anything for me? How many people will treat me and pay for my families meals? I'll tell you. Those people will get theirs in the end. Critisize with a smile on their face, "don't you think you should do this? got that going yet? did you get that done yet? come on chop chop lets go" and I tell you, I get quiet. I mean, quiet. When I get quiet, you better know my brain is brewing. I'm thinking about the best way to tell you what I think. And I'm thinking hard. I rarely let things come out of my mouth without a lot of thought. It might take me a minute (sarcastic for a day, a week, a month take your choice) but I'll get to telling you whatever is baking in my brain. Sometimes my silence says it all. I can't help it. I'm not "techniquing" you, it's just how I'm processing your ill manners and ungratefulness. Time for the bill at a restaurant? Did you offer to pay your more than fair share? Or just your fair share? Or anything at all? Have you done that ever? Hmmm. I'm not sure. I have not witnessed it. I can't say you haven't, I just have not seen it. More power to you if you have. I'd be glad to know it.
For some people in this world, it's never enough. I wonder what it would take for them to see the world as it really is? And the kids of those people? Phew. No thanks, no excitement, do it for me, oh my Lord I cannot stand it. They are doing nothing, not one redeeming thing for their kids. Most kids I know, in fact almost all of them know how to say thank you, show appreciation in their own way, are growing up fantastically. It's sad when I see the opposite. But hey, I'm not the police of the world, someone remind me, go ahead. I know. I come off as holier than thou. Mm hmm. I know. P.O.W. Police of the World. I know. But good LORD can you not see yourself? Just done. Don't you know when you go around stooping to help those around you, picking folks up, helping more in small or big ways, that's the way to be? That's how you teach your child success? Those are the things God measures us all by. I'm glad I have that in my heart and brain. My boys will be prepared for their lives. They may not like it now but I know they will love us for it later. Promise.
Maybe it sounds like I'm complaining. And maybe I am a little but it's more a venting session. Just saying it like it is. It is what it is. Quite simple really. Change doesn't come without dreams and reaching for more. First you have to be enlightened. Enlighten yourself. Go ahead. Make my day.
(Big sigh and I feel all loads better now)
Jenn
Friday, June 20, 2008
Busy Buzzy Days
Sometimes life literally just does not let me sit down and get my quiet time here, days and days can go by when I suddenly realize, goodness, I haven't logged on it a long time.
The Littlest announced the other day that he had an "ear infraction", then quickly rescinded the information. On and off he has been saying, "Mamma my ears don't hurt" out of the blue. Hmmm. Me thinks he doth protest too much; no?
No fever. I'm just watching and waiting. Probably has one brewing. Last time I took him and he said these things to me, he really didn't. He had me thinking he was doing reverse psycology on ME and in truth, he was right. He had no ear infection. But the 'ear infraction' comment and one other comment about "this one hurts, I need medicine" in recent days has me somewhat worried. No fever, no runny nose, just his comments and my worry. Little stinker. He's got me out witted. I don't know which direction to go.
I'll write about this early next week, my next time I'm sure I'll get the chance but the winds of change are blowing again in our lives. Right now it's a steady breeze, the gentle winds are long gone replaced by the steady sound of shutters beating on the outside of the house...soon to be replaced with gale force winds. No lie. More later, but I'm bubbling with hundreds of thoughts in my head, and trying to abate the wrinkles of worry on my brain and face. Life is what it is, it is you what you make of it, and as they (who is they) always say, "when one door closes, another opens". True. True Dat.
The Littlest announced the other day that he had an "ear infraction", then quickly rescinded the information. On and off he has been saying, "Mamma my ears don't hurt" out of the blue. Hmmm. Me thinks he doth protest too much; no?
No fever. I'm just watching and waiting. Probably has one brewing. Last time I took him and he said these things to me, he really didn't. He had me thinking he was doing reverse psycology on ME and in truth, he was right. He had no ear infection. But the 'ear infraction' comment and one other comment about "this one hurts, I need medicine" in recent days has me somewhat worried. No fever, no runny nose, just his comments and my worry. Little stinker. He's got me out witted. I don't know which direction to go.
I'll write about this early next week, my next time I'm sure I'll get the chance but the winds of change are blowing again in our lives. Right now it's a steady breeze, the gentle winds are long gone replaced by the steady sound of shutters beating on the outside of the house...soon to be replaced with gale force winds. No lie. More later, but I'm bubbling with hundreds of thoughts in my head, and trying to abate the wrinkles of worry on my brain and face. Life is what it is, it is you what you make of it, and as they (who is they) always say, "when one door closes, another opens". True. True Dat.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Fathers Day
To my husband:
You set the tone and the standard for our boys. It boils down to that. They look up to you and they love you. For that alone, I love you endlessly. Add in the other stuff and you are priceless to me. In all the good and all the bad we always always bounce back to each other; where we belong. You care for them, you help them, you play with them, you discipline them, and you protect them fiercely. That's a fabulous definition of a good father. You're just there. Nothing else matters. You're just there. We celebrate you today and we love you always.
Forever yours
Me and the boys
Past few days..
Past few days have been busy. We've been busy buzzy bees flying from thing to thing to thing. Here are a few moments...
Monday, June 09, 2008
Pretty Proud
The Oldest received two awards today at his school. One for the National Physical Fitness Award and one for Honor Roll All A's. The parameter for that award was that the child had to get all A's at least one quarter of all four. He has maintained it for all quarters of the year. Even more proud. Above he is wearing the medal for the Honor Roll Award (and yes I made him pose thankyouverymuch). I really truly had no idea what to expect when we went to show our (me and Littlest) support at the Award Program and was going at full speed ahead; story of my life, when I sat down in the cafeteria and got teary eyed before anyone even said a word. End of third grade. He's getting older. And he has such heart. I think I am most proud of his heart. He is kind and thoughtful and that my readers, is really the goal. Yes, smart, all of that too, but kindess and thoughtfulness is the basis for all things in life I believe.
It was a moment, you know, the moment when I got emotional before anyone started speaking? It was like things slowed down, I looked around at all the parents and kids and then the Littlest sitting beside me, and I thought, this is it. This is life. Why we do what we do. Cycles. And coming full circle. Slow down, slow down I said in my head, slow it down. Savor it all. In one instant it will slip through our fingers and our kids will think we are uncool, know nothing, roll their eyes at us (if they don't already ahem....as mine does), and not want hugs and kisses. To see the Oldest's face light up at just the sight of us was priceless.
Wild horses.could.not.have.kept.me.away.from.that.moment.
And now....ready or not.....here comes summer! Good job, Oldest! Your Daddy and I are extremely proud of you! Always!
Mom
(Jenn)
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Matchy Matchy Outfits Part II
Ok, here you go. My beautiful boys. This is what I meant. So. Hokey, I know. But grant me this. It's much fun.
Friday, June 06, 2008
A Well Balanced Week
Another week almost gone and this one was rather well balanced. Go figure. I think I'm learning a thing or two. Maybe. Just maybe. The laundry lagged but hey, that isn't any news to me (or anyone else in this poor house for that matter) but other than that, I think I got a lot done at work, nothing left unchecked on my list, and got a few things done around the house.
Hmmm.
Will next week be a doozy? I hope not. I'm set for another well balanced week. Maybe I can get a well balanced diet in there too. :) Actually, I don't do too bad in that dept either. Not perfect but when I compare it to a year ago; worlds apart. It's all coming together. Step by step. A sweet weekend to you dear reader. ;o)
J
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
This Is NOT My Breast
I have no idea if this is an image of a healthy breast or not and that really isn't the point for this post. I got my first mammogram today. 
I know it's not Breast Cancer Awareness Month so really, what's the big deal? Well, it's a big deal to me because I'm taking my health seriously. I'm a woman and I want to live a long healthy life. I know all too often we take our health for granted and I wanted to take a proactive stand to make sure I'm on my game; always. I am two years away from forty years old and it's about time I start taking the health (or not) of my breasts seriously. I have only ONCE done a self exam. That is horrible! Want to know why? Because I'm absolutely horrified I will find something. How ignorant is that? Very. All these years, each year of my adult life, I have worried and wondered and at the same time refused to do what all doctors recommend; self breast exams.
So today, I did it. The technician proudly told me they had all the new technology; digital imaging machines. I had no idea. I had no idea how they did it in the first place. Each time she took a picture, she invited me over to look at the image. In general (and it's all Greek to me) it looked like this one. Did I know what I was looking at? No. What's all the white stuff? What's all the dark stuff? How does it look so perfectly shaped when my breast was as flat as a pancake? That I DID wonder...
She took four pictures. Two straight on (with my breast so flat I felt it was going to be pulled off my body) and two that were at angels (now THAT was not fun). But let me tell you. When it was done, I felt a world of worry oozing from my every pore, a weightlessness about me that I could not explain. I think everything will be fine but even if I get bad news (which I have no reason to believe I will), at least I'll know. And from now on, I will have one of these as often as they recommend. I don't think I'll ever be hip to do the self exams, don't ask me why, maybe there's something about being alone and thinking you feel something. It's so stupid, I know it is. But there it is; the truth as I know it. That is my truth. Admitting my fears to you all. These are my moments. Moments in my life. Welcome to them. If you are a woman and you are reading this, let this be your moment. Realize that every moment in this life is precious and to be respected, not wiled away or taken for granted. That I refuse to do. I respect this gift too much. I know I'm here for a reason. To teach the boys to water flowers, respect our Earth, love fiercely, grow up with manners and respect for all things, and for my husband, because without him, I'm not the fullest sense of me I can be. He is the reason for so much in my life and he gives me purpose. If I ignore my health because I'm afraid, well, then I can't be here for the reasons I'm meant to. We're all kind of strong around here. Somehow it just got to be that way. Don't ask me when. Don't ask me how. But we are. I would be weak if I continued to be afraid. So that propels me forward. Long time ago there were baby steps. When I look behind me, somewhere along the way, the steps got bigger. While Lucas has nothing to do with this, he has literally everything to do with this. Go figure. Makes absolutely no sense but yet it's crystal clear. If you know me, then it probably makes sense. If you don't, your lost by now, for sure.
It doesn't hurt, it's not painful, but its uncomfortable. Worth it. Glad it's behind me, but worth it. We'll see what they say. I'll post a part two when I find out. If you are near forty, forty, or older, and never had a mammogram, do yourself a favor. Go now. You are not invincible. None of us are.
I know it's not Breast Cancer Awareness Month so really, what's the big deal? Well, it's a big deal to me because I'm taking my health seriously. I'm a woman and I want to live a long healthy life. I know all too often we take our health for granted and I wanted to take a proactive stand to make sure I'm on my game; always. I am two years away from forty years old and it's about time I start taking the health (or not) of my breasts seriously. I have only ONCE done a self exam. That is horrible! Want to know why? Because I'm absolutely horrified I will find something. How ignorant is that? Very. All these years, each year of my adult life, I have worried and wondered and at the same time refused to do what all doctors recommend; self breast exams.So today, I did it. The technician proudly told me they had all the new technology; digital imaging machines. I had no idea. I had no idea how they did it in the first place. Each time she took a picture, she invited me over to look at the image. In general (and it's all Greek to me) it looked like this one. Did I know what I was looking at? No. What's all the white stuff? What's all the dark stuff? How does it look so perfectly shaped when my breast was as flat as a pancake? That I DID wonder...
She took four pictures. Two straight on (with my breast so flat I felt it was going to be pulled off my body) and two that were at angels (now THAT was not fun). But let me tell you. When it was done, I felt a world of worry oozing from my every pore, a weightlessness about me that I could not explain. I think everything will be fine but even if I get bad news (which I have no reason to believe I will), at least I'll know. And from now on, I will have one of these as often as they recommend. I don't think I'll ever be hip to do the self exams, don't ask me why, maybe there's something about being alone and thinking you feel something. It's so stupid, I know it is. But there it is; the truth as I know it. That is my truth. Admitting my fears to you all. These are my moments. Moments in my life. Welcome to them. If you are a woman and you are reading this, let this be your moment. Realize that every moment in this life is precious and to be respected, not wiled away or taken for granted. That I refuse to do. I respect this gift too much. I know I'm here for a reason. To teach the boys to water flowers, respect our Earth, love fiercely, grow up with manners and respect for all things, and for my husband, because without him, I'm not the fullest sense of me I can be. He is the reason for so much in my life and he gives me purpose. If I ignore my health because I'm afraid, well, then I can't be here for the reasons I'm meant to. We're all kind of strong around here. Somehow it just got to be that way. Don't ask me when. Don't ask me how. But we are. I would be weak if I continued to be afraid. So that propels me forward. Long time ago there were baby steps. When I look behind me, somewhere along the way, the steps got bigger. While Lucas has nothing to do with this, he has literally everything to do with this. Go figure. Makes absolutely no sense but yet it's crystal clear. If you know me, then it probably makes sense. If you don't, your lost by now, for sure.
It doesn't hurt, it's not painful, but its uncomfortable. Worth it. Glad it's behind me, but worth it. We'll see what they say. I'll post a part two when I find out. If you are near forty, forty, or older, and never had a mammogram, do yourself a favor. Go now. You are not invincible. None of us are.
-J
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Boys
I'm going to dress them in matchy matchy outfits for special occasions till they tell me to stop. I know. They are not twins. It's hokey and silly. But I love it. I think at Christmas last year I asked the Oldest if he minded getting some things that matched his brother. He said no, that he thinks its cool. Wonder how long that will last?
So I got them matching trunks and rash guards and spent too much; feeling guilty about it now but dang they are cute. Went to the beach yesterday for a bit to play in the sand and they are cute.
I know, they'll be over it soon. Probably the Oldest will tell me to stop at some point. But it's not all the time. It's once in a while, going somewhere or special occasion. While I can I'm getting all the cute out of them. One day they'll think I'm 'dumb' and 'not cool' and right now, I'm taking full advantage of the fact they think I'm the best and awesome. ;)
So I got them matching trunks and rash guards and spent too much; feeling guilty about it now but dang they are cute. Went to the beach yesterday for a bit to play in the sand and they are cute.
I know, they'll be over it soon. Probably the Oldest will tell me to stop at some point. But it's not all the time. It's once in a while, going somewhere or special occasion. While I can I'm getting all the cute out of them. One day they'll think I'm 'dumb' and 'not cool' and right now, I'm taking full advantage of the fact they think I'm the best and awesome. ;)
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