Phew

Five posts and I'm done for the night!

Ya think?

All D.O.N.E.

-J

Part Time Professional; Part Time Stay at Home Mom

What I do; part time professional and part time stay at home mom is proving to be very worth it. This is something I've known for a long time and have stood by it but now it's revealing the rewards even more so.

The Littlest who is not yet two, almost but not yet (in a month or so) can count to 12 unassisted. We have been working on that and I'm sure, I'm quite sure they have in his classroom as well. He also can sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star pretty much the whole first verse and his ennunciation is very clear. He repeats EVERYTHING. I think there is someone at the center who says, "shut your mouth" as he told his Daddy tonight to do so. Ahem. While I can hang with the best of them and cuss words fly when I'm mad and no children are around, when they are present, I'm very rated G. He hasn't heard that "shut your mouth" around here, for sure. No matter, you have to be ultra careful, he literally repeats verbatim everything he hears. I said, "excellent" to the Oldest yesterday and like a parrot, he said, "excellent" as clear as a bell. We work on manners, we work on little songs, listening, potty time, he goes into Time Out when appropriate, it's just amazing what can happen when you partner with a great caregiver. He is getting lots of love and TLC at home with good quality time and stuff we work on etc and also gets it reinforced (or vice versa, it's all the same) at school and the socialization is tremendous. He loves his teachers, his buddies, and he's learning so much. Tonight as I changed his diaper, he grabbed his foot and started counting his toes (which we do all the time) and he got all the way to twelve (no, he doesn't have 12 toes! But he kept going and it was so cute!).

I'm just very proud of him. And I look at the Oldest and I think the same. Maybe there is good in being overprotective as we have been but I'll have to make sure I watch for when we need to loosen up. I'm sure some may think, 'Now's the time!' especially for the Oldest. But we aren't there yet, no, the way we parent and the things we believe in are still working. At least for now.

:)

J

Friend to Me..

I really don't have many true friends. The ones I have I cherish very much. I hope you know who you are. I hope you do. Some are close and others are closer, some talk on the phone a lot and some do not almost at all. Regardless of any of that, I want you all to know you are special to me. In many different ways and for many many different reasons.

I spend most of my time with my core little family and fit in what I can. The stuff that has shaped and molded me (and not only the loss of my son) has turned out this person who sits here typing. Someone, Mar, I think, sent me an email and it had all the signs and descriptions of them. Here was mine:

GEMINI - Irresistible
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good in the you know where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

Personally it was scary how "on" I thought that was. Loud? No, not ME. Talkative, uh uh, never. The other stuff was accurate I think too.

People peg you right and people peg you wrong. It isn't until the chips are down that you know who is true and who is blowing hot air. To those of you I cherish, thank you for being true. It means more than maybe even you know.

Love.
Jenn

Sunday Funnies on a Friday Night

Don't we all need a few laughs every now and then? These are some cute shorts that just might make you smile so we can all see that brocoli stuck in your teeth......


A little boy was overheard praying:

"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

***********************************

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer- "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from e-mail." (Who you tellin?)

************************************

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." (Ain't that the dang truth..)

*************************************
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

**************************************
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Rogan 3, and Ryan 4. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!" (hilarious!)

*************************************
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. Long pause. The boy thought a bit longer and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

*************************************
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

*************************************

Enjoy. These are the Sunday funnies delivered to you on Friday night! Diga diga!

Jenn

Easy and Hard

Easy things become hard again and hard things become easy again; lifes biggest jokes.

-J

Fear

So the Littlest is entering this phase where he is afraid of odd random things. Things that normally he'd never notice or notice and not care about. I remember going through this with his big brother. I better take hold of my veritable seat. It's going to be a bumpy ride!

Tonight as I was putting him down, we had just finished reading (btw he likes three books and will always ask for more but three is my limit!) and we were rocking for a minute and suddenly we hear the chime on the door that leads to the deck and then this pounding and bounding on what I thought was the stairs. I saw a shadow under the door and assumed it was the Oldest contemplating whether or not to come in the room. I was right BUT it freaked out the baby. He kept saying, "hear that?" "whas that? hear that?" then he balled himself up into me and clenched his eyes closed like he didn't want to see what it was. So I thought well, let me take him back out into the hall and show him it's his brother, we go outside of his room and Oldest is already back downstairs (more booming). He's freaked out, more of the "hear that?" "scared" and clenched body, fists and eyes into my shoulder now. Good LORD! I keep soothing him, it's ok, it's ok, it's just your brother but he was done, and then with a muffled cry he looks up at me and says, "room?" he wanted back in his room, maybe where he felt safer? So we go back and I hold him, comfort him, and again he's all balled up into me, like he couldn't get close enough and he kisses me gingerly and says "ted bear blankelet (pause) bed?" he wanted me to lay him down and go. Wanted his teddy bear, his blanket (called blankelet) and his crib. I layed him down not really wanting to thinking he'd start crying or just be scared but he made not one sound and his eyes my Lord you could not pry them open he just layed still as a board and his eyes were squeezed as shut as he could get them; poor thing. I felt BAD leaving the room. Clearly he was freaked out. But I slowly left and I looked back, he looked frozen still. Usually he's wiggly and moving around to get comfy or flips over, just movement in general. Not tonight, he was scared. And he was! Poor bubba.

Last night something similar but he was playing in his brothers room and something spooked him and he came flying out of there and jammed into my legs and held on for dear life. "Scared?" he said. So this morning he stands in the doorway of his brothers room and just looked in, "scared?" he said. So here we go. I have to be patient and try to help him overcome whatever thing it is. He's figuring out stuff, maybe boundaries and not feeling as safe as he did when he was littler? I don't know. I'll have to research it.

Ever changing round here. Ever changing.

-jenn

SSSSSSSnakes..........

Thanks Auntie V for helping at the Library and having your camera for this moment. Great shot! Check him out; snake wrangler extraordinaire (so not). BUT he was brave enough to hold this mini tame beast. I would NEVER. :) Boys. Phew.

J

Flyin' Like a TrackStar

This summer is skipping right on by. Each weekend (except this weekend there was a reprieve) there is something. Birthdays galore for all the grandkids and grammy is in there too then one family reunion then another and before you know it, September will be here and back to school. Am I fast forwarding too much? I think I am but still, it's the age old don't even think about closing your eyes or wishing for a different day, blink and it's there.

Jenn

The Look

If you are a wife and a mom or just a wife, you probably know "the look". It usually comes from the male of the house. The D.A.D. or the H.U.B.B.Y.. It can accompany a multitude of things. Shock, disbelief, irritation, the feigned look of surprise at what they perceive as sheer stupidity, you know, stuff like that. For me, "the look" usually sends me over the rainbow. I don't come back for a while. I guess we've been together long enough that it's all good like that.

The Littlest has a scratch from school today. It's around his eye and also his nose/mouth area. One of the other children scratched him. I don't even want my husband to see this. Not that I had anything to do with it nor is it my fault but the questions that will come I'll be expected to know all answers to. AND he'll want to know who did it. And I won't have an answer. Maybe it will heal overnight and I won't have to have that stressful conversation.

I don't like the look. The Oldest has a look that I call "HE". It means 'half eyes'. When he's ticked, when he's disappointed, when he is NOT happy, his eyelids go down, like halfway down, hence, "half eyes". We're all about acronyms around here so he knows what HE means. I see it happen and I say, "don't get all HE on me, open those eyes up!" or "I dont' care if you HE me. Go ahead" and it makes him mad mad mad. Hee hee. See how they start young with "the look"? GL. I think it's all cyclical and whatnot.

But you see, I have a secret weapon. It's an invisible shield. I see 'the look' and I flash my sheild (inside my head of course) and I say to that look, "ha ha I laugh in the face of that look and I draw my sword and shield and he ha take that and that!" and with that I slice the look and I turn away. Turning away is best. It quells the storms. It quiets the crowd. It takes away the thunder of the coming storm. Like it.

Go ahead, give me the whites of your eyes. It's all good.

Us

You are my love.
My heart.
My best friend.
Others mock close relationships.
I say sad for them.
Thank you for everything.

My soul mate, my split apart, my forever.

Love,
J

Vietnamese Nail Places

I want to be fair in what I say without coming across as rude. Why is it when I am getting a pedicure the Vietnamese women who run the shop are constantly talking in their language and looking at me? I get it. Just as I want to speak (when I have something to say) in my own native language, they want the same. I mostly do not expect them to be fluent in the English language. I think it would be nice if they spoke in English but I'm not averse to them speaking in theirs. The problem comes in when they get all heated in their discussions, what in the world are they talking about? And when they are looking at me and talking at the same time? I can't help but think they are talking about me, my feet, my hair, what IS it?

I know some people say and maybe I have felt in the past that hey, you are in the United States and you own a business here, how about speaking in our language when around customers and patrons. But I get it, I do. Talk how you want, say what you like, but please, your body language is giving you away and it appears you are being rude to me. As a customer of yours, I don't like it. I know I am not the only one as I caught the eye of another woman in your establishment on many occasions and we both lock eyes and the knowing is there.

Consider how we might feel. You know our language yet you speak your own. We do not know yours. Maybe that's our problem. Well, I guess it is. I doubt you will ever stop what you are doing so I guess it really is our problem. We can always take our business elsewhere I suppose.

J

Feeling Blah

Maybe down is a better description. Not sure why. Just feel non committal, floaty, not focused, not sure why.

Hey on a more upbeat note, today is the first offical day of summer. The most daylight in one day the whole year. Pretty cool. It's 7:46 here on the East Coast. I should be out hiking or running or walking or something; no? I should. Maybe it would perk me up.

What if we add on to the house? Contractors trustworthy? How long would it take? Six months? I'm all over the place here.

Need to go through the house and do a real spring cleaning, get rid of all the crap we don't use, don't need, never have used, never have needed. Who's gonna help me with that?

Off to finish invitations. If I have anything to say about it, they'll turn out darn cute. We'll see how it goes..

J

Happy Birthday Sweet Nephew

So we celebrated my nephew's birthday today along with Fathers Day. That's him right there, above. Look at those blue eyes. Watch out girls, one look at those eyes, and you're done. He's a good get'em energetic full of gumption and wild knowin' what he wants one way or the other little boy. I love his willful ways because it tells me that one day, when he's old enough, it will come in handy, his confidence will be there. I love that. I love him. With all my heart.

Above that are all four cousins, sort of dressed alike. I love that we can do that with them at least for now. I'm sure in a year or two, it will be considered very UNCOOL. I'm ok with that. I look at them when they are at play and they are so close. Look at that picture with all four of them. So comfortable with each other. Love that. I took tons and tons of pictures today but what's new? I always will. There is no better way and really, no other way to capture these moments that are "These Small Hours". It's all we have. Yes, we have nice houses and cars and nice this's and that's but you could come and take it all away from me and I wouldn't bat an eye if it meant I'd never see our kids again. I'd live wherever. It doesn't matter. My life, our life is just icing. It's not the cake. Not at all. I get that. I so totally get that. I fully and completely understand that we are fortunate and that what we have can be gone, can be taken, can fall away. I so totally do get that. LOVE these kids. Like nothing else.

--Jenn

Soft guy/Tough Guy

So the Oldest got off the school bus for the last time in second grade this past Thursday. Crying. Well, he had been crying. And as soon as he saw me, he started up again. The other kids were screaming and yelling and chasing each other with this huge water guns; celebrating "yippe!! schools out!" Not my child. Nope. And as soon as he was far enough away from the crowd, it turned into all out sobbing. "I'm sad Mom! I LIKE school!" insert more sobbing and jagged breaths laced with all the drama the boy could muster. "I'm gonna miss my teacher and my friends, Mom!" Imagine. Me, looking at him, knowing he was sad, he usually gets sad at the end of every year but never like this. So me, looking at him, thinking this one thought ONLY. "There was a reason I never had a daughter. God knew, he just KNEW I would lose it on a little girl." I cannot take the drama. I snap in 2.2 seconds. I'm all (in my head of course, would never utter these words to him or he might break in two before my eyes), "cut it with the crying, what is wrong with you?" You see sweet readers, I cannot stand it in myself or others yet I cry so very easily and clearly, so very clearly, so does he. Can I tell you that whatever relationship he finds himself in as he grows up, that person will have no issues whatsoever with his ease and ability to express his feelings. No issues. She will never be able to complain that he does not say how he feels. I'll do you one better, he not only says it, he says it with high noon passion.

We are walking home with no one in sight, sobbing little boy, me trying my best to console him (and I WAS trying to console him, good mamma that I am, never mind I was about to scream to the high Heavens for him to stop), the Littlest saying, "no cry Oldest, ok" with some prompting from me. Here's another secret sweet reader, my Littlest, my youngest son? He has built in emotional walls--he came equipped that way. Apparantly, he was born that way. Nothing much rattles him in a big way. He does not cry easy. He can bash his head on the wall and gets up and keeps going. Like the pink bunny on TV. Keeps going and going and going. Energizer, yes, that's him. He can be playing with a child and the other child decides he does not want to share a toy that he might want and he simply looks at the child and steps back. Not worth the fight I think he's feeling. He just walks away. The Oldest? At this age, he would have fought the good fight, screamed, pulled, yelled, given a little battle for it. The Littlest; he is just not super affectionate except with me. Everyone else has to absolutely coerce him into hugs and kisses. When he wants to cry he looks away. He gets a certain sad face but does allow the tears to come as easily as with me and the Oldest. Stark opposites. How does that happen? Any ideas? Two kids, raised the same, loved the same, don't get it. Night and Day.

The tough guy and the soft guy. GL.

Running

Running
So Fast
Never Time To Stop And Enjoy For Longer Than A Minute
Go Go Go
Do This, Do That
Go Here, Go There
Fix This, Fold That
Go To Work, Oh Wait, I'm In a Perpetual State of Work
Period Where Are You?
I Just Want To Breathe
To Slow Down
To Rest And Enjoy This Life
Dusting To Do; What Dust Says He
Milk We Are Out Of Milk --- AGAIN
I Need A Cow Around Here
Oh Wait, We Already Have One
And A Gravy Train
Yah, Never Happen Will It
Don't Really Want It Anyway
D.O.N.E

-J

Pictures

I am going through the house, updating pictures. Some of the pictures are so old and we have all changed in so many ways. The ones of Lucas, I look at a lot and I still cannot bear to take them down. I don't know if I ever will. The boys will grow up and I will change their pictures and Lucas' will just stay the same; as he was when he died. Hate that. Sometimes I just hate it.

I had a memory today that really hit me hard. It was me, sitting on our old couch in the old sun room, with my mom and sister there with me as I held Lucas who was very very little, maybe a week old. I remember holding him and just looking at them, asking, "why is this happening?" and crying. I think they both maybe cried too but tried to comfort me. How little I knew then. How selfish I was being. It wasn't "happening" to ME. It was happening to him, and to our whole family, my husband and oldest son; all of us. Not going to rehash it all again..

Time to change pictures, make them new again, use the same frames but give them new life. It almost feels like redecorating. Redecorating the house and redecorating the soul. Could use a little of both around here.

--J

How You Grew Up.

How did you grow up?

Did you have to earn things?

Did you get most everything you wanted?

Were you rewarded for negative behavior?

I wonder. Most of the kids these days are part of this new Generation E. We may be Generation X but I think the new ones coming up, the younger ones, are Generation E. E for entitlement. I'm entitled to have this this and that.

Look around at the Paris's and the Lindsay's and the like. Even the unfamous ones. Gimme gimme gimme. Sad state of affairs. I know I didn't grow up that way. Had to work for what I wanted. Owned (co owned) my first home at 22. Worked very hard for that. Had goals. Was disciplined. Never got that college degree but you know, that's ok. I think I was better for it. I like the way things worked out for me. I'm confident about that. I look at those who keep messing up, and I think, I'm grateful for the way I was raised. Thanks Mom. I can appreciate what I have, and I will pass that along to my children. They will have summer jobs, part time jobs, they will work for what they want and be given nothing they don't work for. I don't want them to grow up like those spoiled stars famous and unfamous. And they won't.

That is one thing I am sure about. And I take every opportunity to say it out loud that I can. Kind of affirms what I know and believe in. How did you grow up?

--J

Atlanta

Atlanta Georgia.

I want to visit there some day. I think it must be an interesting place. I'm going to research it as a potential place to vacation in the next two years. Is there fun stuff for kids? I'm going to check it out.

Atlanta Georgia.

I think yes.

-J

Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Oh My!

Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands; notsomuch liking that, very odd film and he was very odd in it.
Johnny Depp in any of the Tim Burton flicks; notsomuch liking that, too too too weird. Too out there.
Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow; yummy yummy~! LOVE him as Jack Sparrow. Why is that? He's dirty, and his hair is knotty, and his teeth are not so clean, but oh my, he is quite charming and witty, and he IS handsome in these movies. Don't know why, but he is my absolute favorite character in these movies.

Wellllll, that is unless you count Will Turner, I mean, Orlando Bloom. Now HE is absolutely gorgeous, delectable, devine in these movies. His eyes, his hair, he's quite something.

We went to see POC World's End with the Oldest and his cousin today. I don't think I've ever said this before about any other movie, don't think I have, but the cinematography in this particular movie is outstanding. It is riveting and you are locked on the screen the entire movie. I was FREEZING, dumb me, wore a tank top and you know, it's always so cold in the theater, but I couldn't move. Thank Heavens my honey kept holding me close, rubbing my arm that he could reach and letting me basically shove half my body under his arm and back, but, I digress as per the norm. Even though it was sub zero in there, and everything in me wanted to go outside to warm up, I would not move for fear of missing something. The humor, wit, and pirate lingo all wrapped into a fairly fast paced storyline, kept me completely engrossed from the word go (or Argggghh!). Jack is a dastardly guy who has a heart of gold beneath all those layers of dirty pirate garb. He really wants Elizabeth but won't let himself be tempted because he knows she really loves Will. And Will and Jack have a pseudo enemy type relationship but it's more love/hate than anything and in the end, Jack does the right thing by Will but I suspect it's because he wants Elizabeth to be happy. How this movie comes to a close is a complete sideswipe out of left field and it made me love it all the more.

Highly highly recommend this almost three hour movie. High action, constant chuckles if not all out laughs, and the element of surprise and wonder as you watch what you can only think on several occasions, "how did they DO that scene?" makes for an incredible two and three quarters hours where you find yourself completely lost and detached from reality. Now THAT's a good movie! I actually walked out of the theater thinking, "I want more, they have to do another" Not sure if they will or there are plans to make another but I hope there are. They left it sort of open ended.....I'm hoping they did that on purpose!

POC; awesome summer flick! Check it out, you'll be glad you did! And I didn't even get paid for this post! Heck, I NEVER get paid for my posts! I just loved it that much!

--J

Paris, What's Wrong?

First in, then out, then in again. And crying on her way back in. All I'm saying is, when you break the law, no matter who you are, you have to do what you're told. You might have to go to jail. You are not above the law, the law applies to everyone the same and fairly. Do you think anyone else who is remanded to jail is happy as they are on their way? Probably not. She left her home the second time, screaming, crying, and yelling for her mother. Really? Why?

I think it's a bit of odd karma. She was caught twice after her first arrest for driving intoxicated, caught twice driving with a suspended license. I think she needs this little wake up call. I say, make her serve all 45 days with no chance to get out.

That oughta make her wake up and smell the coffee. Something's wrong America. I think it's high time we get our morals back out and start using them. But of course, this is just what I think. I'm but a middle class mom who has no extra millions lying here or there. I would expect to have to pay for what I'd done. But then again, the Simple Life I lead is probably a lot better than the Simple Life she leads. I'd say by leaps and bounds. And look, no need for extra millions here. I'm happy and grounded and level headed all by my lonesome with my few dollars. Funny, the stars, the rich folks (not all, but enough) are the ones screwing up, doing stupid things, thinking they are above the law, and why? The spotlight is directly on them. They can't get away with much. Or can they?

I guess that still remains to be seen.

-Stepping
down
off
my
soapbox
again..
Jenn

Stereo Systems or Stereo Types; They're All The Same

All You Can Drink For 55 Cents

There was a business woman driving home on a hot day down a country road when she spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. Since she was thirsty, she decided to stop. Once she got up to the little boy's stand, she noticed a sign that said, "All you can drink 55 cents". Although she thought it was an awfully small glass, she decided to get some anyway, since it was only 55 cents for all you can drink.

She gave the boy two quarters and a nickel, and shot down the whole glass in one swallow.

Slapping the small glass back onto the table, she says, "Fill 'er up!"

Without blinking, the kid replies, "Sure thing, that'll be 55 cents."

Surprised, the irritated business woman sputters, "But your sign says all you can drink for 55 cents."

"It is," the innocent little boy replies without hesitation, "That is all you can drink for 55 cents."


---I got nothing else...

:)

Obsessions

I have them. Sometimes they are larger than life and then other times, notsomuch. I don't know about any of you but you know-certain kind of gum or certain kind of linens for your bed, certain kinds of pizza that you like or always want or being obsessed with nail polishes (like only I can be).

I'm thinking that means I am somewhat compulsive. Maybe -maybe not. I'll tell you what I AM most definitely obsessed about and that is the Littlest getting naps. His bedtime. That he gets enough sleep so he's not cranky or that his lack of sleep could ever make him cranky. . crazy thing to be obsessed about but can a human being help what they are obsessed about? In my opinion, no.

I am not (so not) obsessed about cleaning the house. That we can check right off the list. Go ahead, consider it gone, right off the list.

Summer time is a time for festivals. Festivals almost every weekend. I am not obsessed about festivals. Too many people. Food is expensive. PortaPottys galore. Disgusting. Festivals can be fun, and ours are fun, I used to go all the time; BEFORE I had kids. Suddenly the world is so different when you have kids. You think different, you change, and sometimes, you don't know it till you are looking backwards, like me, right now.

I am obsessed about watching gymnastics during the Olympics. And ice skating. And syncronized swimming. I am NOT obsessed about that one sport where they push a weird shaped ball down a shuffleboard looking thing and pray it gets on a certain number and move their arms back and forth like a maniac to help guide it in. That sport, in my opinion, is not a sport. That is, well, I'm not sure WHAT it is. It's R. Fill in the blank.

In the summer I'm kind of obsessed about being tan. Lets get something straight. I don't want to be the kind of tan where I look orange or it's unhealthy. Just a healthy sun kissed summer glow. Some people tan and then stay in the sun constantly. I want no part of leathery skin when I'm a mere 40 years old. People now can never guess my age, and I like it that way, they always think I'm younger than I am. Love that. Healthy sun kissed glow=good. Cancerous orange glow=bad.

We all have them; obsessions. What makes you nutty? What are you obsessed about? I'll tell you one thing, I can do without lists like these. Sorry I'm serving you up a plate of it!

Happy Friday (tomorrow) to all.
Jenn

Mothers Who Don't Deserve Babies

I work for a Property Management Company here locally where I live. I have seen a LOT of things. Things that normal people (what am I not normal?) would never even dream of. I have worked for this company for just over ten years now and have learned to chalk a lot of it up to life and what can you do, almost form a hard shell about it all so it can't penetrate through and truly affect me. Maybe this sounds callous, but it's how you stay healthy about what you do and continue loving it. You get involved sometimes but now it's become rare that I truly truly do. I kind of watch from afar in a sense. Absolutely get my hands dirty, absolutely will help anyone with anything but at the end of the day, I have learned to compartmentalize and move on.

There is a resident at one of the communities who turns my stomach and I've never even met or seen her. She has a toddler. She should not be a mother; of this I'm sure. Ok, that is harsh, I will say I'm sure she needs help. She has twice now, on two separate occasions, fallen asleep, with the baby only in a diaper, and allowed by her lack of mothering and simple basic supervision at the least, her child to open the front door and walk right outside. This child has been found TWICE, weeks apart, wandering in the community. The last time, the child was almost to a very busy road in front of the property. UNTHINKABLE. Both times Social Services were called out and both times for whatever reason the child was given back to the mother. And people wonder what is wrong with our society? Pest control had gone in her apartment during the time the child was wandering and the woman had two tv's on, was sound asleep on the couch with no child to be found. Hearing this made me viscerally sick. There are hundreds, no thousands of women who would gladly take this poor child. This child who does not deserve this treatment. This child deserves love and caring and basic ATTENTION. Not this.

I cannot, in twelve million years even fathom or remotely fractionally consider EVER letting my little one OR my big one 'outside' without supervision. Or turning my back so they can get outside with no supervision. This just boggles my mind. And I don't even WANT to think about what the mother might do to the child when Social Services leaves. Is there punishment? I don't know. It's not fair for me to say of course, but you know, the mind wanders...

Yes our children can drain us, run us ragged, take all of our energy at times, and when we are sick we get no days or time off, we don't, at least I know I don't. And during all those times, yes, we are wild in our minds with crazy thoughts. But those thoughts leave us in two seconds because we know, we know without a shadow of a doubt, that our children are our lives and it's our job to protect them. If we can't it's the governments job to step in-simply because that is how our country is set up-I don't know if I necessarily believe that is the best resolution but someone has to and that someone in our society and country is Social Services. Too many times you hear horror stories about children and mothers where they slipped through the cracks and something went very wrong. I pray that does not happen in this case. This is hard to block out! I care too much about kids and little innocent babies, to let myself go unaffected by hearing these stories.

I wonder if I can call Social Services myself and inquire. I'm so sure I cannot. Privacy laws. But does SHE deserve the benefit of those laws if she cannot take care of her child? Maybe she is depressed, can't stop sleeping, I don't know...but someone help her. Maybe the bigger issue is, someone help those in our country who cannot help themselves. Maybe we need an overhaul, a new way of "doing business" a new leader, a new outlook, healthcare revisions, ok ok ok, you see how all this grows into something else?

D.O.N.E.

I pray for that little child. I did last night and I will again tonight. Maybe it's all I can do.

J

Gift of the Pen

So today, I'm going through a stack of papers that came home with the Oldest I don't know, about four or five days ago (bad Mamma!) and I come across a note book that is his writing journal. Remember, he's seven. He would kill me if he knew I was sharing without his permission but he's not home right now and what he doesn't know won't hurt him! By the way, he saw my emailed version of the post about 'How to Eat Live Worms' come through and all he saw was the title and he immediately jumped up out of the chair and with high indignation shouted, "Mom! Did you tell the world about how I ate worms?" (the world I scoffed, if he only KNEW there were only two of you who read here.....can't be more than three.... :) ) Oh I had to fib and quick, "Oh no" I said, "That was Ms. Tammy, funny thing, her oldest son did the same thing on the same day! Can you believe that? She's emailing me to tell me he ate a worm too!" Good Lord, he was about to go ballistic on me. Think fast girl, think fast! Sorry Tamm, uh, I kinda blamed that on your Oldest one. :) Love me?

Ahem, ok, as I was saying, I came across this writing journal or notebook if you will. Here are a few excerpts. Can I tell you I was grinning from ear to ear from the first page to the last? Makes my heart proud to see his thoughts on paper. Yes, yes, I know, the teacher assigned this I'm sure but he does it so well! I have no misconceptions that he did this voluntarily; seriously, he's just seven!

Here we go:

My favorite part of last summer was going to Disney World. It was lots of fun! (uh, kay, we so did NOT go to Disney last summer, but this is but a small detail...)

I am special because I like sports and helping others out as much as I can in math and science plus giving them ideas. And I'm very sensitive. (No! Ya think? and that he recognizes that blows me away)

I like to tell jokes to my friends. I like to swim with them and watch TV with them. Friends are the best.

I should: Help people. Don't be mean to people. Take good advice (?). Talk nice always. Be a good listener. (So he IS listening when I'm talking, I always thought as I looked into his glassed over eyes that all he heard was what Charlie Brown hears from HIS teacher, "wah wah wah wah wah wah". This is a good sign!)

I would like to make a secret recipe to live longer. Eat healthy fruits and keep up with exercises.

I love the way my mom cooks those twisteronis (did it once). I like how she puts the cheeses in there! My other favorite is pizza bread. I love how my mom puts those designs on there. (I have no idea what he is talking about but I'm glad he loves it!)

Make a list of jobs adults do. Cut the lawn. Go to work. Swim in the pool (that is one hard job!). Watch TV (now I'd say his Daddy does that job best but who's keeping track?)

Blah blah blah etc etc etc. There is lots more and it's too much but lots of insightful and hilarious thoughts from that one. It's funny what they REALLY think.

Here's my favorite then I'm signing off...

What's good about being a boss is that you get to control (hmmm) the people who work for you! The bad thing about being a boss is that you always have a tight schedule! ???? How do kids KNOW that stuff? Seriously, he scares me.

Last summer at home, I encouraged a summer journal. I will do the same again this summer. I love to give him crazy topics, they have to be fun or he won't want to. I saved it all. He'll get it all back when he's 18. Think he'll want it? He better! That stuff takes up a lot of STORAGE. Good Heavens. I want him to keep it up. Writing is the most freeing thing in the world. Hopefully he'll learn that he too can help himself through the tough times by putting the pen to the paper so to speak. Well, we'll see how all THAT goes. :)

J

How To Eat Live Worms

When you get a voicemail from the school nurse, a certain level of anxiety typically runs through you. Even if just for a second or two until you hear the reason for the call. Let's face it, she's a nurse. This usually isn't a happy call. Something is wrong, your child is sick, fever, fell down, you know the drill.

If you live in THIS house, things aren't always 'normal'. Well, what's normal anyway?

Today, apparantly I missed a call on my cell phone and never knew it till four hours later. I was in the car with the Oldest and the Littlest and sitting in very still traffic. Looked at my phone and realized, oops, voicemail waiting, missed call. I'm listening to the message and I'm looking at the Oldest in the rear view mirror as we continue to sit in the sucky traffic and here is how it goes:

"Mrs. M, hello this is Mrs. C the school nurse. I just wanted to call and tell you something unusual happened here at school today with 'the Oldest'. He ate a worm. He seems ok but I would watch him. He may get naseous or have a stomach virus in a day or two in which case you may want to take him to his pediatrician. If you have any questions blah blah blah etc etc etc"

Silence.

I'm still looking at him in the rear view mirror. But now in disbelief. No, strike that, utter shock. He ATE A WORM? I slowly put the phone down. I say to him, "Oldest, you said you had a fantastic day today, did anything unusual happen?" --"No" he says. I reply, "Are you SURE?" "uh uh" to which I say, "Oldest, are you really sure nothing unusual happened today? Anything you aren't telling me?" And suddenly, the light goes off in his eyes. I see it happen, it's a glance away, a certain jerk of the head and eyes and then the eye contact where we both realize we both know what I'm talking about. He then quietly says to me, "Did you get a voicemail?" Uh yea. I did. "YOU ATE A WORM? Was it DEAD? Was it ALIVE?"

He just looks at me. "It was dead mom!!!" I ask him a zillion questions, "was it crunchy? was it mushy and slimy? did someone dare you? you better tell me the truth!" He starts crying, in the most dramatic voice in the world, "I ate two worms Mom they were slimy but I thought they were dead! Are you MAD at me? Are you DISAPPOINTED in me? AHHHHH (loud crying here)" I'm just looking at him. I have no answers. I can say most of nothing. This is what I say, "You ate TWO worms?" This is all I could say. What could I say? It was done! Holy Cow he ate two live worms.

Can I tell you that approximately two-three weeks ago, we as a family watched How To Eat Fried Worms? And can I tell you that it was the most disgusting movie I think I've ever seen in my whole life? He watched it three times total, twice after without us.

So this little girl calls him over and says, "Look I found this worm" and according to him, he takes this as she was egging him on (and I'm sure she so was not) and he said to her, "So I can eat that worm." and so it began and he not only ate one but he ate two. GL.

Boys. They get dirty. They get stinky. They play with action figures and make pretend scenes. They are rowdy and adventurous and loud and raucous and they eat worms. Apparantly they do. Really? Are you kidding me? No one ever told me this would happen. I didn't sign any waivers that my sons would possibly try to eat worms. There is no book for this stuff. I'm flying by the seat of my pants people. He said he didn't want to talk about it anymore and not to worry he'd never do that again because it was gross anyway. And he didn't throw up? Nope. Still hasn't.

For breakfast as a joke, I'm going into the front garden and finding the best worm I can. I'm serving it to him on a plate. Watch me.

The joys of motherhood! Love it.