I think tonight it's supposed to start rockin and rollin. Much wind and rain. Tornados a real possibility. Wish us luck. We already have a plan A, B, and C if a tornado does strike. Sounds funny to say in this area, but you know, you never know. We have our plan. So now I'll try to lay my head down and wait and see what the night brings. We should not be here. But we are. Our trip did not materialize. Ernesto prevailed. Now it's knocking at our door with 40-50-60 mile per hour winds possible. Tomorrow will be no better but it all starts tonight.
I'll let you know how it all goes. Well, you can see it on the news......
Signing off for now.
Jenn
You cook, you clean, you go to work, you nourish, you love, you scold, you are professional and yet you hang your hat on every dust particle in your home. You are a woman. Some women are Moms and some are not. You are still a woman. We are all made similarly. We are strong.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
In honor of "Love Thursday"
Tammy did the post first. I thought it was a great one.
Having two brothers who love each other; adore each other, it's special. Uh, yes, the oldest tries to iritate the littlest. But try to hurt the littlest, or let the littlest cry one second too long, it's done. I love to see him taking care of the baby...and the baby simply adores him. These relationships will be special for a lifetime. I too am glad they have each other.
Pure Love.
--Jenn
Having two brothers who love each other; adore each other, it's special. Uh, yes, the oldest tries to iritate the littlest. But try to hurt the littlest, or let the littlest cry one second too long, it's done. I love to see him taking care of the baby...and the baby simply adores him. These relationships will be special for a lifetime. I too am glad they have each other.
Pure Love.
--Jenn
Mermaid
Near where I live, as you may have known from some of my earlier posts, this city has adopted the mermaids. There are several several of them....all hand painted with different themes or just in different ways. Every time we are in that city, I try to bring the camera. I'm not sure what it is about mermaids that I'm so enamored with....but I am. They are just beautiful to me. Whimsical and pretty. I'm just taken with them. I have other pictures of them. I'll add as I find them. Once I find them on the hard drive, I will group them all together so I don't have to go through this again. Enjoy.
Yeah Well, Guess What?
We're not going. @@#$%^&&****^%$#@#
Insert your own words.....go ahead.
Jenn
ps check out my new back to school mom Avatar to the right. I'm not the one GOING back to school, I'm just the mom at the bus stop. Lets be clear on that. ;<)
J
Insert your own words.....go ahead.
Jenn
ps check out my new back to school mom Avatar to the right. I'm not the one GOING back to school, I'm just the mom at the bus stop. Lets be clear on that. ;<)
J
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
We are GOING on this trip.
Ernesto you can do what you want, but we are going on this trip.
Bring on the rain, bring on the wind. Bring it on. But not too windy. And not too rainy. Kay. Just sayin.
Exit stage right.
Jenn
Bring on the rain, bring on the wind. Bring it on. But not too windy. And not too rainy. Kay. Just sayin.
Exit stage right.
Jenn
Monday, August 28, 2006
It's only a name....
I know this is strange, but hey, it's me. Lots of things about me are "strange". If anything, I'm known to have my strong convictions and a passionate person...but yes, you can add strange to the list.
My name is Jennifer. My family (sisters, mother, sister in laws, mother in law) call me Jenny. My friends call me Jenn. People at work, they call me Jenn. When I introduce myself, I introduce myself as Jennifer; especially at work. I think deep down, it feels more professional than Jenn or Jenny. When I answer my work cell phone, I usually say, "Hello this is Jenny". I'm sure I confuse the hell out of people. Which one do you want? What is your NAME anyway? Am I calling you the wrong thing? One time, someone high enough up in the company, basically a co owner, called me on an issue. I did not know it was he who was calling me. I answered my desk phone in my office, "Thank you for calling PDQXYZ, this is Jenny, how can I help you?" to which he paused a long pause and then said laughing but frustrated in a way, "Which is it? I've never heard you call yourself Jenny before, is it Jenny, Jenn, or Jennifer? Have I been calling you the wrong name all these years?" You know, it took until that moment in time for me to realize that yes, indeed, I do tell different people, depending on their relation to me in my life, different names and expect them to call me only that name I give them. I would freak out if my husband suddenly started calling me Jennifer. Or if my mother started calling me Jenn. OR if someone at work, who better refer to me as Jenn, started calling me Jennifer. That would set me off. Isn't that funny? Really, the only person who can call me "Jennifer" is my mother when she's mad at me (then I'm in for it) OR the person I've just introduced myself to until they become familiar with me later to which they will be relegated to either Jenn or Jenny.
Sick. I'm a sick, twisted person. But in my head, it all makes perfect sense. Scary eh?
Very. It's only a name, Jenny, it's only a name (and by the way, when I talk to myself in my head, like if I'm having trouble with something, I'll say, what the heck, Jenny, come on, get it together. I call myself Jenny.---yes, I know, its' only a name...or is it?)
JENN
:)
My name is Jennifer. My family (sisters, mother, sister in laws, mother in law) call me Jenny. My friends call me Jenn. People at work, they call me Jenn. When I introduce myself, I introduce myself as Jennifer; especially at work. I think deep down, it feels more professional than Jenn or Jenny. When I answer my work cell phone, I usually say, "Hello this is Jenny". I'm sure I confuse the hell out of people. Which one do you want? What is your NAME anyway? Am I calling you the wrong thing? One time, someone high enough up in the company, basically a co owner, called me on an issue. I did not know it was he who was calling me. I answered my desk phone in my office, "Thank you for calling PDQXYZ, this is Jenny, how can I help you?" to which he paused a long pause and then said laughing but frustrated in a way, "Which is it? I've never heard you call yourself Jenny before, is it Jenny, Jenn, or Jennifer? Have I been calling you the wrong name all these years?" You know, it took until that moment in time for me to realize that yes, indeed, I do tell different people, depending on their relation to me in my life, different names and expect them to call me only that name I give them. I would freak out if my husband suddenly started calling me Jennifer. Or if my mother started calling me Jenn. OR if someone at work, who better refer to me as Jenn, started calling me Jennifer. That would set me off. Isn't that funny? Really, the only person who can call me "Jennifer" is my mother when she's mad at me (then I'm in for it) OR the person I've just introduced myself to until they become familiar with me later to which they will be relegated to either Jenn or Jenny.
Sick. I'm a sick, twisted person. But in my head, it all makes perfect sense. Scary eh?
Very. It's only a name, Jenny, it's only a name (and by the way, when I talk to myself in my head, like if I'm having trouble with something, I'll say, what the heck, Jenny, come on, get it together. I call myself Jenny.---yes, I know, its' only a name...or is it?)
JENN
:)
The Oldests' Summer 2006 Journal
His first grade teacher sent home a black composition notebook labeled and ready for his Summer 2006 Journaling efforts. My goal was to be light with it but to have him do at least ten journal entries by the time school started. That is NOT asking too much, that's less than one per week during the summer. We did not hit ten and there's one week left but he's only got three to go. I think I'll have him do 1-2 more and leave it at that. Close enough and summer is for relaxing a bit no?
Here is one of his sweet journal entries below word for word (usually I give him the topics and he writes about whatever topic I gave him, I might ask for his input on a topic, but he's not that broad yet in his thinking....)
June 2, 2006 by the Oldest (and if you haven't figured out by now, I've substituted 'the Oldest' for his name in lieu of some internet privacy...)
What symbols would I use to represent my family?
A butterfly for Lucas. A heart for love. And an American Flag because we're proud of our country.
Ok, he's going into second grade. He wrote REALLY big on the page so the title and all three sentences took up the WHOLE page but hey, it's summer and I'm not gonna bust his you know whats over it. That'll come this year, when he tries to get away with it in school. I was just happy he was writing and thinking.
Here's one that is somewhat funny.
Would I like to be a pirate back in the old days?
Yes. I would like my name to be Jason Read. I would have two blasters, two small swords, two regular swords, and a hat with a skull and cross bones on it and it's black and white and two black boots with a brown coat and a parrot. That's all I would like as a pirate.
OK. As you can see, my denying the child ever to have 'weapons' is likely backfiring on me a bit as he has clearly fantasized about all kinds of swords etc. :) BUT again, he was thinking and writing and I just bit my lip. Gotta choose your battles; no?
One more for the road....
July 10, 2006 by the Oldest
How my baby brother grows since he was a tiny baby.
1. He's so cute
2. He wears white sox (verbatim and huh??)
3. He walks
4. He talks (streeeettttccchhhiinnnggg there but hey if he thinks he's talking to him I'm all good with that, they are communicating!)
5. He eleven months old
6. He looks like me
7. He has black hair
8. And most of all packed into me (?)
PS I love you Littlest it's true I really do love you. (all underlined)
On that note, I think journaling this summer has been a good thing. He quite protests it at the onset of the excirsise but in the end, it's good to keep his mind working.....he really is a sweet boy. I will keep this journal of his and he'll look back at it later in life and just laugh. Love that.
--Jenn
Here is one of his sweet journal entries below word for word (usually I give him the topics and he writes about whatever topic I gave him, I might ask for his input on a topic, but he's not that broad yet in his thinking....)
June 2, 2006 by the Oldest (and if you haven't figured out by now, I've substituted 'the Oldest' for his name in lieu of some internet privacy...)
What symbols would I use to represent my family?
A butterfly for Lucas. A heart for love. And an American Flag because we're proud of our country.
Ok, he's going into second grade. He wrote REALLY big on the page so the title and all three sentences took up the WHOLE page but hey, it's summer and I'm not gonna bust his you know whats over it. That'll come this year, when he tries to get away with it in school. I was just happy he was writing and thinking.
Here's one that is somewhat funny.
Would I like to be a pirate back in the old days?
Yes. I would like my name to be Jason Read. I would have two blasters, two small swords, two regular swords, and a hat with a skull and cross bones on it and it's black and white and two black boots with a brown coat and a parrot. That's all I would like as a pirate.
OK. As you can see, my denying the child ever to have 'weapons' is likely backfiring on me a bit as he has clearly fantasized about all kinds of swords etc. :) BUT again, he was thinking and writing and I just bit my lip. Gotta choose your battles; no?
One more for the road....
July 10, 2006 by the Oldest
How my baby brother grows since he was a tiny baby.
1. He's so cute
2. He wears white sox (verbatim and huh??)
3. He walks
4. He talks (streeeettttccchhhiinnnggg there but hey if he thinks he's talking to him I'm all good with that, they are communicating!)
5. He eleven months old
6. He looks like me
7. He has black hair
8. And most of all packed into me (?)
PS I love you Littlest it's true I really do love you. (all underlined)
On that note, I think journaling this summer has been a good thing. He quite protests it at the onset of the excirsise but in the end, it's good to keep his mind working.....he really is a sweet boy. I will keep this journal of his and he'll look back at it later in life and just laugh. Love that.
--Jenn
Saturday, August 26, 2006
It's horrible.
I think I have written before about how my oldest son has a horrible disease. I cannot recall the details of that entry but I will attempt to give you the details of this horrible disease I speak of now. It could have been different before.
He has this common debilitating disease known as Remotis Controlis Permanently Attachis to my Handis. It's most common in people of the male breed. Even more common in the younger crowd between the ages of 7-10 years of age. When the television is on, the remote strangely seems to be grafted to his hand in an uncanny way. People have tried, but no one can get it from his grasp. Also I might mention, he knows how to work that remote in ways I never dreamed of. I will have that thing in my hand, staring at the buttons willing it to just do what I want and not knowing what button to push to get it going, yet I watch him and he knows the buttons by heart, almost without looking. Now. I know what some of you might think. Oh, this is the sign of a child who watches too much TV. Possibly, but not really. I think he's just smarter than me. Right now we're all undergoing three hours without television as a ramification for not listening to his mother. This remotis controlis permanently attachis to my handis disease is now starting to get the better of all of us. I think we're going have to call in a surgeon. Why when a child is watching TV must he have the remote in his hand? Seriously, what gives? Is it just me? My child? I notice the same with my husband. He is always searching out the remote. It drives me nuts because I know down deep inside he really wants to change the channel just as I'm getting invested in whatever show I'm watching. He does that you know. When the commercial comes on, he starts channel surfing and then by the time (and I'm tersely barking at him to "just put it back, we're going to miss the show, the commercials are OVER") he gets back to my original channel, the show has re started and I missed whatever great scene blah blah blah. Males. Men.
Can't live with them, definitely can't live without them. What can you do? What's a girl to do?
Nothing. Dang it.
Jenn
He has this common debilitating disease known as Remotis Controlis Permanently Attachis to my Handis. It's most common in people of the male breed. Even more common in the younger crowd between the ages of 7-10 years of age. When the television is on, the remote strangely seems to be grafted to his hand in an uncanny way. People have tried, but no one can get it from his grasp. Also I might mention, he knows how to work that remote in ways I never dreamed of. I will have that thing in my hand, staring at the buttons willing it to just do what I want and not knowing what button to push to get it going, yet I watch him and he knows the buttons by heart, almost without looking. Now. I know what some of you might think. Oh, this is the sign of a child who watches too much TV. Possibly, but not really. I think he's just smarter than me. Right now we're all undergoing three hours without television as a ramification for not listening to his mother. This remotis controlis permanently attachis to my handis disease is now starting to get the better of all of us. I think we're going have to call in a surgeon. Why when a child is watching TV must he have the remote in his hand? Seriously, what gives? Is it just me? My child? I notice the same with my husband. He is always searching out the remote. It drives me nuts because I know down deep inside he really wants to change the channel just as I'm getting invested in whatever show I'm watching. He does that you know. When the commercial comes on, he starts channel surfing and then by the time (and I'm tersely barking at him to "just put it back, we're going to miss the show, the commercials are OVER") he gets back to my original channel, the show has re started and I missed whatever great scene blah blah blah. Males. Men.
Can't live with them, definitely can't live without them. What can you do? What's a girl to do?
Nothing. Dang it.
Jenn
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Scrapbooking Find of the Year!
If you are the least bit interested in scrapbooking or the beginnings of feeling creative and not sure where it's taking you, check out this site. It's awesome. It has tons of items that have gotten even me (who loves making cards and gift bags and gift tags etc but not so much scrapbooking itself) semi interested in the idea of scrapbooking. One for each boy. When Lucas passed away, I took the painstaking yet much needed time documenting everything I could remember along with every picture I could fit in there and make sense of in a timeline sort of way. I did make one for him. I then made copies for our parents and siblings and now they each have one to remember him by as well. It's a job well worth doing, you can look back later in life and have some great memories that you took the time to really highlight for your kids (and you).
I'm telling you, it's a great little site, and their prices are VERY reasonable. So whether you are just starting out or in full swing, their items are so affordable that you really can't lose. I've already made one order, and I see some other things I want to scoop up as well. I can feel it all brewing, here I go again....
http://2croppincousinz.com
Have fun!
Jenn
I'm telling you, it's a great little site, and their prices are VERY reasonable. So whether you are just starting out or in full swing, their items are so affordable that you really can't lose. I've already made one order, and I see some other things I want to scoop up as well. I can feel it all brewing, here I go again....
http://2croppincousinz.com
Have fun!
Jenn
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
If you know me...
Then you know that I'm a bit (maybe more than a bit but not more than a lot) high strung at times. Anal about the boys. Always on red alert when it comes to their safety and especially to what the oldest is taking in. Like on TV or just in general. I'm pretty opinionated but am open enough to listen to other thoughts; at least I make huge efforts to try. I really do.
The other day we were going to the grocery store and I was just mosying through the parking lot, trying to find a spot close to a cart drop off area. This young guy (maybe 20-25 or so) zips up in his little souped up Civic and slams on breaks opposite me on the other side of the road. I didn't et the feeling he was going for the same spot as me so I was confused as to why he stopped. He was close enough to the spot that he could have logistically already taken it instead of putting on the big show with his brakes and staring at me. Then he starts with the waving hand motions in the air. I've got both boys in the car. If I didn't, the outcome would have been much different I imagine. So I calmly put my hands up in the air like, "what? what is wrong with you?" but did not say a word (cuss words were flyin' in my head though) and he starts flailing his arms all around like a maniac again but this time yells out, "Go you retarded bitch!!" to which I could hear him, the oldest could hear him and the folks who were standing out chatting near where I was wanting to park could hear him. I looked around like, is he talking to me? Seriously, what did I do? I just pulled up for God's sake and I'm met with this. So I just calmly and slowly pull into the spot and roll the window down in the passenger side --look right at him and say outloud "Nice. Very nice." All of a sudden he rips behind me and screeches his tires and the oldest looked at me, just shocked. I told him that nice young man was just having a very bad day. He just shook his head yes with his eyes as big as golf balls. As I'm getting the boys out of the car, he pulls up behind me but on the other side of the road and ends up talking to that group of people (apparantly they knew each other and originally when I pulled up, I was getting ready to get in his way, I'm not sure). I just turn around and look at him, then look at them, and he looks at me more meekly this time and looks away. I think when he circled around he had a moment to think about how stupid his little display was and then when he saw I had two children, one old enough to take in the scene, he felt bad. He should! Forget that he called me the name, but his whole little show and race car Mario Andretti stunt was totally uncalled for, and over the top. I could have let that situation turn into something more. If I were alone, I probably would have. Stupidly, but I tend to do things without thinking as much when I'm alone. When I'm with one or all of the boys, I'm like a different person.
I'm kind of proud to say but know I will get a lot of flack from certain people about this, that we have parental controls on the TV. Anything at Y-7 or above, he has to come to us, tell us the name of the show, and if we agree, we input a 'secret' code into the TV so the show will display. Lots of shows fall under the auspices of needing a code, and yes, some of them he is allowed to watch. But nowhere near all. He likes Time Warp Trio and we have to put a code in for that. Kenny and the Shark, we have to put a code in for that. Sometimes Kim Possible needs a code, not sure why. The first two shows are PBS shows. He knows not even to ask about shows like CatDog, Avatar, SpongeBob, and what's this new show called Mr. Meaty? That just sounds wrong. What the heck? What is this world coming to, I've seen the previews and it's absolute trash. Well of course, I haven't sat down and watched an episode, don't even know if it's started yet but the previews, there is not one redeeming point of value to that show. Our kids are watching this crap. Don't get me started. I know, I know, I'm being holier than though, I'm up on my soapbox. I know. I feel that I am. But it just gets me. I think this and anyone else is wrong. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, do you know what your kids are watching? I mean, really? I will sit down randomly and just watch a show with him or pop in and out of the room to check, and he knows it. I think he likes it. He doesn't know what I'm really doing, but either way, it's win/win. If you know what your kids are watching, kudos to you. I know that kids need downtime and just to veg in front of nonsensical stuff just like we do. I get that. Spongebob is kind of that, sort of nonsensical but I think in that show, hidden between all the silliness are maybe some learning lessons but really what's the point in digging for those lessons if all the other stuff is so overt that's the only message the kid gets? Whatever, it's just TV and I'm analyzing it over the top. But I do firmly believe if that's all our kids are watching is the brain mush stuff, it's going to come out down the line in some way. That's why in this house, we have the rules we do.
So I'm kind of the TV patrol man I guess. I don't think he resents it. He has lately been asking, why can't I watch Ben 10? I watched some of it and it seems OK but just OK and the game on the website seems so dark. I nixed it. There are just better shows. Just as entertaining and also that from time to time teach. So I know I just probably alienated a lot of people and I'm sorry if I did. I also think at some point, I'll have to cave. I'd like it to be later than sooner. Later means, he's a tiny bit more prepared for being able to recognize brain mush stuff from the other stuff or determining right from wrong etc. So I'm just pushing for later. As later as I can get away with it for. It seems illogical to think that I can hold them back from shows that other kids their age (well at least the oldest for now) are watching but then on the other hand, and I think I've said this before, isn't it worth it to stand up even if you are alone in your stance for the things you believe in? Sometimes it's the hardest thing to do is stand up in front of a group of people (hypothetical) and oppose what they all think. How brave of you if you can actually follow through with what you say? I'm not the bravest soul I know, not even a little, but my convictions are strong and they help give me strength for the boys. So there you go. If you know me even a little, I didn't just tell you anything you didn't already know......
A Mom, A Wife, and a Writer. That's me.
The other day we were going to the grocery store and I was just mosying through the parking lot, trying to find a spot close to a cart drop off area. This young guy (maybe 20-25 or so) zips up in his little souped up Civic and slams on breaks opposite me on the other side of the road. I didn't et the feeling he was going for the same spot as me so I was confused as to why he stopped. He was close enough to the spot that he could have logistically already taken it instead of putting on the big show with his brakes and staring at me. Then he starts with the waving hand motions in the air. I've got both boys in the car. If I didn't, the outcome would have been much different I imagine. So I calmly put my hands up in the air like, "what? what is wrong with you?" but did not say a word (cuss words were flyin' in my head though) and he starts flailing his arms all around like a maniac again but this time yells out, "Go you retarded bitch!!" to which I could hear him, the oldest could hear him and the folks who were standing out chatting near where I was wanting to park could hear him. I looked around like, is he talking to me? Seriously, what did I do? I just pulled up for God's sake and I'm met with this. So I just calmly and slowly pull into the spot and roll the window down in the passenger side --look right at him and say outloud "Nice. Very nice." All of a sudden he rips behind me and screeches his tires and the oldest looked at me, just shocked. I told him that nice young man was just having a very bad day. He just shook his head yes with his eyes as big as golf balls. As I'm getting the boys out of the car, he pulls up behind me but on the other side of the road and ends up talking to that group of people (apparantly they knew each other and originally when I pulled up, I was getting ready to get in his way, I'm not sure). I just turn around and look at him, then look at them, and he looks at me more meekly this time and looks away. I think when he circled around he had a moment to think about how stupid his little display was and then when he saw I had two children, one old enough to take in the scene, he felt bad. He should! Forget that he called me the name, but his whole little show and race car Mario Andretti stunt was totally uncalled for, and over the top. I could have let that situation turn into something more. If I were alone, I probably would have. Stupidly, but I tend to do things without thinking as much when I'm alone. When I'm with one or all of the boys, I'm like a different person.
I'm kind of proud to say but know I will get a lot of flack from certain people about this, that we have parental controls on the TV. Anything at Y-7 or above, he has to come to us, tell us the name of the show, and if we agree, we input a 'secret' code into the TV so the show will display. Lots of shows fall under the auspices of needing a code, and yes, some of them he is allowed to watch. But nowhere near all. He likes Time Warp Trio and we have to put a code in for that. Kenny and the Shark, we have to put a code in for that. Sometimes Kim Possible needs a code, not sure why. The first two shows are PBS shows. He knows not even to ask about shows like CatDog, Avatar, SpongeBob, and what's this new show called Mr. Meaty? That just sounds wrong. What the heck? What is this world coming to, I've seen the previews and it's absolute trash. Well of course, I haven't sat down and watched an episode, don't even know if it's started yet but the previews, there is not one redeeming point of value to that show. Our kids are watching this crap. Don't get me started. I know, I know, I'm being holier than though, I'm up on my soapbox. I know. I feel that I am. But it just gets me. I think this and anyone else is wrong. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, do you know what your kids are watching? I mean, really? I will sit down randomly and just watch a show with him or pop in and out of the room to check, and he knows it. I think he likes it. He doesn't know what I'm really doing, but either way, it's win/win. If you know what your kids are watching, kudos to you. I know that kids need downtime and just to veg in front of nonsensical stuff just like we do. I get that. Spongebob is kind of that, sort of nonsensical but I think in that show, hidden between all the silliness are maybe some learning lessons but really what's the point in digging for those lessons if all the other stuff is so overt that's the only message the kid gets? Whatever, it's just TV and I'm analyzing it over the top. But I do firmly believe if that's all our kids are watching is the brain mush stuff, it's going to come out down the line in some way. That's why in this house, we have the rules we do.
So I'm kind of the TV patrol man I guess. I don't think he resents it. He has lately been asking, why can't I watch Ben 10? I watched some of it and it seems OK but just OK and the game on the website seems so dark. I nixed it. There are just better shows. Just as entertaining and also that from time to time teach. So I know I just probably alienated a lot of people and I'm sorry if I did. I also think at some point, I'll have to cave. I'd like it to be later than sooner. Later means, he's a tiny bit more prepared for being able to recognize brain mush stuff from the other stuff or determining right from wrong etc. So I'm just pushing for later. As later as I can get away with it for. It seems illogical to think that I can hold them back from shows that other kids their age (well at least the oldest for now) are watching but then on the other hand, and I think I've said this before, isn't it worth it to stand up even if you are alone in your stance for the things you believe in? Sometimes it's the hardest thing to do is stand up in front of a group of people (hypothetical) and oppose what they all think. How brave of you if you can actually follow through with what you say? I'm not the bravest soul I know, not even a little, but my convictions are strong and they help give me strength for the boys. So there you go. If you know me even a little, I didn't just tell you anything you didn't already know......
A Mom, A Wife, and a Writer. That's me.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Lucas
Three years ago today, my son Lucas died. He was only ten months old, just a baby. He tried to live. He fought to live. He overcame so many obstacles. Then his body was just holding on. Just long enough for us to figure out gracefully that he was waiting for permission, the chance to go and rest. We told him to go. We finally could no longer be blind to what he was showing us, deaf to what he was telling us. Take God's hand. Go. We love you with a million hearts, but go. Be safe, be well. We'll see you soon. When he died a large part of the normal Jenn died too. Very little of her has come back and in it's place, a new person has grown.
His heart was not perfect. We thought we could make it perfect but we were wrong. The doctor made his heart worse. There is anger seeded in that thought. Why that doctor? Why on that day did the doctor not fall and break his ankle? Why were we not in a car accident on the way to the hospital? Why didn't another doctor step in when it was obvious the operating surgeon was failing at the repair? A thousand why's. I could list for you one thousand of them. Literally, I promise you, it would only take five minutes for me to make the list.
It is a daily struggle to be the young 36 year old mother of three when two are on Earth and one is in Heaven. Daily. Days like today are difficult. Many many people have just come to not mention him at all. Not talk about him, or how we are feeling. Or remember when he did....because no, no one remembers except for us. And even at that, my memory is fading and it's very upsetting. I know that boy deserved to live. He was so little. Yet God's plan was this. How do you reconcile those two things? I won't know till I'm there and I won't be able to share my knowledge with you then on this blasted Blog because I'll be there and you'll be here. Crazy.
For all the knowledge I have come to posess, tears I have come to cry, and guilt I have never been able to let go of, I wish I had a cup full of the essence of Lucas. For a moment in time, it might help the pain. Dull as it may have become, it's still there. You wouldn't understand it if you haven't watched one of your children die before your eyes. It is a crushing thought and sometimes I still can't believe it happened to him, to all of us. Know this. Angels are flying all around us. Spirits who have passed on still help us now. I believe that. In little ways they show us they are here. It's whether or not you are willing to open your eyes wide enough to the possibility. In three years I can say I have made progress. Maybe not always perfectly but I have come a long way. My hope is this: That he is playing contentedly simply having fun and our hours and days are but seconds to him. He still hasn't missed me yet. I hope he still hasn't even turned around to look for me; for that thought, would kill me. Our years are their minutes. By the time I get to him, he'll just be getting around to saying, "hey where's my mamma anyway?" and there'll I'll be. How's that for irony? That's how it'll be.
and on that thought, I'm signing off. And for you Lucas, a kiss and a smile. Hugs will come later.
Mamma.
Friday, August 18, 2006
While Sugar Plums Dance In Your Head...
So try this different recipe. I saw it somewhere recently and cannot recall where. I made it while we were eating dinner, it was easy and delicious.
Carmelized Plums
Half plums and pit them.
Wash and set in a shallow baking pan (I covered the pan with foil to help alleviate any baked on stuff)
Add a pat of butter to each plum half
Add a lump of brown sugar on top of that (more if you like; it's basically going to carmelize in the oven)
Bake slowly in the oven on 300 degrees for about half an hour.
After, add vanilla ice cream. YUMMY.
It was easy, and the Oldest ate fresh fruit. Granted, it was covered in butter and sugar with ice cream but STILL you do not know what a feat this is. Next I'm going to go for broke and have him eat it fresh. Imagine that (I did get him to eat a cut piece of fresh plum when I was preparing it, he tried to give it back to me and I handed it right back, insisting he eat it; he did. :) I shall assert myself more often!
Seriously, try the easy recipe of baked plums. We ALL enjoyed it and it wasn't too filling.
--Jenn
Thursday, August 17, 2006
A prayer
When you're so little, you have the whole world at your feet. I see his little personality and I think I have a glimpse of how he will be. Adventurous. No fear. Go go go. Not quiet. A spirit ready to fly. I wish the best for this little sweet boy. It seems silly to even say it. It's such an extreme understatement. Is it challenging to "do it right"? Double yes. I say, it's worth the challenge. In the end, he's only got himself, just him and his shadow. I can teach him. I can inspire him. But at some point, it'll just be them. He and his shadow. I will do the best I can. I couldn't do that for Lucas. I pray to God I can do it for him.
Jenn
Words of Wisdom
The oldest is quite the funny little boy. I am an awful singer. The worst. I wouldn't even embarass myself to audition as a joke for American Idol; it's bad. However, I often belt it out and say to him, "Do you like my singing? I could win American Idol, couldn't I?" and he looks at me in horror every time. He's so funny, he doesn't want to hurt my feelings but his face gives him away easily. He thinks my singing is horrible (and it is). I love to sing anyway and I think I've mentioned this before; it's best done in the car when I'm alone. If I were someone else driving by me and I saw me singing with the window up, I'd think 'Wow, she can really sing.' because baby, I'm all into it. And I KNOW I sound horrible but in my mind, I'm right on cue. I'm the next Celine Dion. ;<)
The weather is absolutely georgous today and I'm talking sweet weather. We're in the car and I start singing, "It's a beautiful day in the neighborh...." and I get cut off right there on the "hoo" by the sheer look of terror on the face of the oldest and then he plugs his ears. Now THAT hurt my feelings. I'm not THAT bad am I? I guess I am. I didn't even get to finish my thought or part of the song, I was merely expressing myself about the pretty day. I'm taking them to a local museum after the littlest naps so I was projecting out how wonderful it would be to be outdoors blah blah blah and then he does that. hmph. I say to him, "oh you know when I'm in Heaven you'll miss my wonderful singing voice" to which he replies, "uh, mom, when you're in Heaven, I'll miss you but I won't miss your singing voice." Damn.
Words of wisdom. You can always count on kids to tell it to you like it is. So if you ever are driving beside me and see me just singing away like I'm on a stage somewhere, plug your ears, even if both our windows are up. Stinker.
J
The weather is absolutely georgous today and I'm talking sweet weather. We're in the car and I start singing, "It's a beautiful day in the neighborh...." and I get cut off right there on the "hoo" by the sheer look of terror on the face of the oldest and then he plugs his ears. Now THAT hurt my feelings. I'm not THAT bad am I? I guess I am. I didn't even get to finish my thought or part of the song, I was merely expressing myself about the pretty day. I'm taking them to a local museum after the littlest naps so I was projecting out how wonderful it would be to be outdoors blah blah blah and then he does that. hmph. I say to him, "oh you know when I'm in Heaven you'll miss my wonderful singing voice" to which he replies, "uh, mom, when you're in Heaven, I'll miss you but I won't miss your singing voice." Damn.
Words of wisdom. You can always count on kids to tell it to you like it is. So if you ever are driving beside me and see me just singing away like I'm on a stage somewhere, plug your ears, even if both our windows are up. Stinker.
J
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Things in Common
With Tammy:
- We went on first dates with our husbands on the same day and same year (and we did not know each other then)
- We got married on the same day and same year (and we still did not know each other then)
- We both love to write
- We both have only boys (and adore them with all our hearts but then what parent doesn't?)
- We both love fiercely and dislike fiercely
- We both love all things to do with the sea; lighthouses, mermaids, beaches, sun filled sun kissed days and cheeks
- Both of our second sons were born with some type of birth defect; it has been a challenge
My brain is fried right now, I know there are more, but with a mushy fried brain, it's all tapped out. All these reasons and more (and the fact that we disagree as easily as we AHgree) means we could be like long lost sisters. True friends? Yes. Super close friends? Yes. One of the best friends I've ever had. Someone you can tell anything to, not afraid of what she'll say. That's the sign of a true friend. Not holding anything back. I'm very lucky indeed.
Thanks Tamm.
Jenn
My son, the SuperHero
So on Sunday, the oldest decided he wanted to try his hand at being SpiderMan or something. He thought he could take a couch, in one leap, and bound from the floor at a side angle, over the arm of a couch and make it in front of the couch easy peasy lemon squeezy. Uh uh. Not gonna happen. He and his Daddy were playing catch with a rather tiny football while I was at the mall with the littlest. While I was gone.
As he tried this rather impossible jump, he impaled (too dramatic but perfect word to describe it) his right inner ankle on a wrought iron leaf that edged the table next to the couch. Yep. That's gotta hurt.
I get home and I'm met in the driveway with news that there had been a little 'mishap' while I was away (I literally was only gone for 1.25 hours). Well, ahem, let me just skip ahead and tell you he got four stitches as a result of his little Peter Parker stunt. Heart attacks? Yes. I am the mom of BOYS. I'm afraid there's much more to come. I am preparing to brace myself as I type. Buckling in and all that. As my friend Tammy said, "It's all boobahs now, no more normal boy shows" No more Power Rangers. No more Spider Man. None of that stuff. I know I know. I'm a stick in the mud. And of course I'm just kidding. But man, their killin me. I must grow a thicker skin. Anybody got any ideas how?
---J
As he tried this rather impossible jump, he impaled (too dramatic but perfect word to describe it) his right inner ankle on a wrought iron leaf that edged the table next to the couch. Yep. That's gotta hurt.
I get home and I'm met in the driveway with news that there had been a little 'mishap' while I was away (I literally was only gone for 1.25 hours). Well, ahem, let me just skip ahead and tell you he got four stitches as a result of his little Peter Parker stunt. Heart attacks? Yes. I am the mom of BOYS. I'm afraid there's much more to come. I am preparing to brace myself as I type. Buckling in and all that. As my friend Tammy said, "It's all boobahs now, no more normal boy shows" No more Power Rangers. No more Spider Man. None of that stuff. I know I know. I'm a stick in the mud. And of course I'm just kidding. But man, their killin me. I must grow a thicker skin. Anybody got any ideas how?
---J
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Mermaidia
Isn't this beautiful? Georgous. Love it. This was taken in a local city nearby. It is hand painted by a local artist. I have mentioned her before. Her work is original and creative.
Have I posted this before? Sorry if it's a duplicate..........
It's worth a double post. I love it.
Sharing...
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Points to Ponder II------The Ride
This is a play off of Kelly's site. Sort of. In a way. http://kellysbubble.blogspot.com So I'm stealing your idea but the content is different; kay Kell?
Today I was at a grocery store with the littlest. Fairly uneventful trip; I was on a mission and I quickly gathered what I needed to but it was nice, just he and I. As we were leaving, I noticed this older couple in front of us. Maybe they were each in their 80's. They looked SO happy. They were just jabbering away and smiling at each other. Imagine that. Seriously, I'm thinking, how amazing it is that they are as old as they are (and not said in a negative tone at all) and still are finding these things to talk about. What kind of enchanting things were they discussing? I watched them in sheer surprise and also pride. Weird huh? They were holding hands and he was leading her. Her hair was literally as white as snow and it was so shiny and full of life. Probably because she never has dyed it. She was dressed in a red top with black pants. The cutest part was that she was wearing that black and red outfit with shoes that totally didn't go; they were pink, blue, yellow and green tennis shoes. I just smiled. It was awesome. I slowed down maybe subconciously to watch them. The littlest was bah bah bah'ing and throwing out his words, "wak wak" he wanted down, he wanted to walk. I was thinking, I want to be like that. I hope we are. He was so attentive to her and looked so happy; if I didn't know any better it was like puppy love. But I bet it wasn't. I bet they just loved each other that much. I watched them till they got to their car and he quietly, strongly, went over and opened her door for her. She brushed a kiss on his cheek and got in. It was the most affirming thing I'd seen in a long while. It really made me smile. It definitely put me in an awesome mood.
We went to the movies tonight. Ricky Bobby Talladega Nights (hilarious). As I was walking in ahead of my honey to get tickets (he went to go park the car and had droppped me off to get the tickets) I saw another older couple. It was odd. They were just as happy. I'm not saying an older couple who is happy is unusual, I think it's great! What was odd was how close in proximity I got to two separate couples who were so up in age in one day. Like it was a sign. I heard what they were talking about. He was talking about his golf stroke and telling her how he had to line it up just so and you would have thought he was telling her how to hang the moon or that he hung the moon. Apparantly he had played golf today. She was looking at him and uh huh'ing and smiling. Just loving him and holding his hand. And we literally crossed paths, we walked the exact criss cross path of each other. We were so close and the original couple crossed my mind at that same second, that I thought, this is a sign. We will grow up to be this. I know it. I smiled at them and said excuse me and my smile was genuine because hokey as it sounds, it made my heart full.
Point to ponder: When you love someone so much, passion and all (and passion can be good and bad, high emotions can contain many things; mostly it's intense goodness though), can that last forever? I hope so, but really, can it? When you get older, in your 80's will the spark just be there? How hard will we have to work at it? Will all the life we have lived prior to that have been the precursor to the ride or will it just be part of the ride?
Before my husband and I got married and made that special committment in front of our families and God, he told me to get ready for the ride of my life. It has been. It so has. So many ups. A few intense downs. In fact we've had enough downs to last the rest of our lives. But I know, more will come. One almost happened the other day. Lucas was there, God was there, and a horrible accident was thwarted. I thought it was the most romantic thing ever when he said that to me; get ready for the ride of your life. And at key times since then, he has asked me how the ride has been so far or warned me the ride was just getting good etc. 'The ride'.
I wish for our ride to be never ending. We say to each other, I'll love you forever, even in Heaven. I'll come find you in Heaven. In that thought, our ride will be never ending. I can only hope when we are as old as those folks today, we are still that happy, chattering away, laughing at each other, him leading me and opening doors for me now and then. At dinner, after the movie, we sat and quietly talked. We checked on the boys and called home, but we enjoyed ourselves.
The ride is good. It's the best ride I could have ever asked for. The perfect ride for me.
If you are reading this baby, stop now and know, I love you. Now and always.
Jenn
Today I was at a grocery store with the littlest. Fairly uneventful trip; I was on a mission and I quickly gathered what I needed to but it was nice, just he and I. As we were leaving, I noticed this older couple in front of us. Maybe they were each in their 80's. They looked SO happy. They were just jabbering away and smiling at each other. Imagine that. Seriously, I'm thinking, how amazing it is that they are as old as they are (and not said in a negative tone at all) and still are finding these things to talk about. What kind of enchanting things were they discussing? I watched them in sheer surprise and also pride. Weird huh? They were holding hands and he was leading her. Her hair was literally as white as snow and it was so shiny and full of life. Probably because she never has dyed it. She was dressed in a red top with black pants. The cutest part was that she was wearing that black and red outfit with shoes that totally didn't go; they were pink, blue, yellow and green tennis shoes. I just smiled. It was awesome. I slowed down maybe subconciously to watch them. The littlest was bah bah bah'ing and throwing out his words, "wak wak" he wanted down, he wanted to walk. I was thinking, I want to be like that. I hope we are. He was so attentive to her and looked so happy; if I didn't know any better it was like puppy love. But I bet it wasn't. I bet they just loved each other that much. I watched them till they got to their car and he quietly, strongly, went over and opened her door for her. She brushed a kiss on his cheek and got in. It was the most affirming thing I'd seen in a long while. It really made me smile. It definitely put me in an awesome mood.
We went to the movies tonight. Ricky Bobby Talladega Nights (hilarious). As I was walking in ahead of my honey to get tickets (he went to go park the car and had droppped me off to get the tickets) I saw another older couple. It was odd. They were just as happy. I'm not saying an older couple who is happy is unusual, I think it's great! What was odd was how close in proximity I got to two separate couples who were so up in age in one day. Like it was a sign. I heard what they were talking about. He was talking about his golf stroke and telling her how he had to line it up just so and you would have thought he was telling her how to hang the moon or that he hung the moon. Apparantly he had played golf today. She was looking at him and uh huh'ing and smiling. Just loving him and holding his hand. And we literally crossed paths, we walked the exact criss cross path of each other. We were so close and the original couple crossed my mind at that same second, that I thought, this is a sign. We will grow up to be this. I know it. I smiled at them and said excuse me and my smile was genuine because hokey as it sounds, it made my heart full.
Point to ponder: When you love someone so much, passion and all (and passion can be good and bad, high emotions can contain many things; mostly it's intense goodness though), can that last forever? I hope so, but really, can it? When you get older, in your 80's will the spark just be there? How hard will we have to work at it? Will all the life we have lived prior to that have been the precursor to the ride or will it just be part of the ride?
Before my husband and I got married and made that special committment in front of our families and God, he told me to get ready for the ride of my life. It has been. It so has. So many ups. A few intense downs. In fact we've had enough downs to last the rest of our lives. But I know, more will come. One almost happened the other day. Lucas was there, God was there, and a horrible accident was thwarted. I thought it was the most romantic thing ever when he said that to me; get ready for the ride of your life. And at key times since then, he has asked me how the ride has been so far or warned me the ride was just getting good etc. 'The ride'.
I wish for our ride to be never ending. We say to each other, I'll love you forever, even in Heaven. I'll come find you in Heaven. In that thought, our ride will be never ending. I can only hope when we are as old as those folks today, we are still that happy, chattering away, laughing at each other, him leading me and opening doors for me now and then. At dinner, after the movie, we sat and quietly talked. We checked on the boys and called home, but we enjoyed ourselves.
The ride is good. It's the best ride I could have ever asked for. The perfect ride for me.
If you are reading this baby, stop now and know, I love you. Now and always.
Jenn
Friday, August 11, 2006
Today
Some days you just feel your age.
Some days you just feel your own humility as heavy as a hammer bearing down on your head over and over and over again.
Some days you just screw up.
Today was one of those days. Isn't it funny how you (we; me) go through life thinking you are in control? Wait. We've talked about this before. But today really wasn't about that so much as it was me being human. And thank GOD for his gift. Thank you God for watching over us today. Really, I know he was.
I screwed up. We screwed up. But it all turned out ok. Just when you think you know it all and your thimble begins to be too full with all your knowledge (uh huh) then you get a little kick, a jolt that just zaps you. It says, "Hey you, wake up, pay attention, always pay attention." We needed a swift kick in the pants and man we got it.
I hate always talking in circles but I promise you, you don't want to know what I'm talking about, it would make you sick to your stomach. Will make you want to vomit on cue. Just trust me. I needed a bit of humility pie and I got it. I think the phrase is really humble pie and I guess I got that too. It's all the same. I got served. I'm awake now. Eyes wide(er) opened than before. Is that possible? I guess so.
What a day. Just what a day.
A Mom, A Wife, and a Writer. That is me.
Some days you just feel your own humility as heavy as a hammer bearing down on your head over and over and over again.
Some days you just screw up.
Today was one of those days. Isn't it funny how you (we; me) go through life thinking you are in control? Wait. We've talked about this before. But today really wasn't about that so much as it was me being human. And thank GOD for his gift. Thank you God for watching over us today. Really, I know he was.
I screwed up. We screwed up. But it all turned out ok. Just when you think you know it all and your thimble begins to be too full with all your knowledge (uh huh) then you get a little kick, a jolt that just zaps you. It says, "Hey you, wake up, pay attention, always pay attention." We needed a swift kick in the pants and man we got it.
I hate always talking in circles but I promise you, you don't want to know what I'm talking about, it would make you sick to your stomach. Will make you want to vomit on cue. Just trust me. I needed a bit of humility pie and I got it. I think the phrase is really humble pie and I guess I got that too. It's all the same. I got served. I'm awake now. Eyes wide(er) opened than before. Is that possible? I guess so.
What a day. Just what a day.
A Mom, A Wife, and a Writer. That is me.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Littlest!
Happy Birthday Big Boy!
I love you with a bajillion hearts. I so do!
You are one!
Always in your heart, you are always in mine-
Mamma
I love you with a bajillion hearts. I so do!
You are one!
Always in your heart, you are always in mine-
Mamma
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
What's in YOUR purse?`
In mine:
- several burger king coupons that I'll never use
- tens of tiny mighty bites cookies (Grips if you're a mom, you know) and some smashed up
- my blackberry
- my wallet
- no pens
- no scrap paper
- four thousand lipsticks (depending on my mood)
- a loose picture of the littlest
- a wristlet full of more lip stuff (oh my; you know, just in case)
- cover up
JUNK JUNK JUNK.
I'd be ashamed if someone I admire wanted to look through my purse. Horrible. What is it they say? About the true organization of someone based on the insides of their stuff? Maybe I just made that up but you know, the general theme is chaos. Everywhere. In my head, in my purse, wherever you look.
--What's in YOUR purse?
Jenn
Monday, August 07, 2006
Get it together...
***************Warning. The following post is riddled with anger. Warning.***************
Let me tell you. I'm feeling angry at the world today. Really angry. Sitting here, I typed up this whole long post and boy, I know it would have really stirred the pot. And then with the stroke of one button, I deleted it all. Then sat here staring at the blank screen. What's wrong? What's really wrong? What's really eating at me?
There are three very large boxes sitting on my porch. They are just sitting there. My husband is not here. He is at a local theme park with my son and his nephews; took the day off. The littlest has been sick again and I stayed home today with him. So there are these boxes I have been ignoring. I know I need to bring them in. I feel like bringing them in and hiding them from him, from the world, and never thinking about them again. I know that when he gets home, it will ruin all good moods previously garnered from a fun carefree day living life.
In these boxes are the last four months of Lucas' life. All medical records, all notes on his daily progress (or lack thereof, obviously), every observation from every nurse, doctor, janitor, every Tom Dick and Harry who had one iota to do with him. Kind of sucks the life right out of you. Every time I've walked past the inside of the front door, I have felt a sharp pain in my side. Like someone has stabbed me again with the reality check that 'hey, your son, he's out there, in the hot sun, baking away, just like at the cemetary.' Forgive me readers, forgive me my crassness. It is the worst pain in the world losing a child and having to pretend you're ok to the whole world even though you have a new beautiful wonderful vibrant new baby in your world. Even though you see others who have children who have challenges set forth before them, and get frustrated that they cannot accept (cannot accept what exactly?). You know what? I'm going to sign off before I say anything I will regret. It's not you I'm mad at. Shouldn't take it out on you.
Damn those boxes. Damn that they are on our doorstep. How's that for a huge reminder that your son died right before your eyes? And why you ask, why can't I 'get over that'? Hmmm. I don't know, why don't you figure it out for me.
Jenn
Let me tell you. I'm feeling angry at the world today. Really angry. Sitting here, I typed up this whole long post and boy, I know it would have really stirred the pot. And then with the stroke of one button, I deleted it all. Then sat here staring at the blank screen. What's wrong? What's really wrong? What's really eating at me?
There are three very large boxes sitting on my porch. They are just sitting there. My husband is not here. He is at a local theme park with my son and his nephews; took the day off. The littlest has been sick again and I stayed home today with him. So there are these boxes I have been ignoring. I know I need to bring them in. I feel like bringing them in and hiding them from him, from the world, and never thinking about them again. I know that when he gets home, it will ruin all good moods previously garnered from a fun carefree day living life.
In these boxes are the last four months of Lucas' life. All medical records, all notes on his daily progress (or lack thereof, obviously), every observation from every nurse, doctor, janitor, every Tom Dick and Harry who had one iota to do with him. Kind of sucks the life right out of you. Every time I've walked past the inside of the front door, I have felt a sharp pain in my side. Like someone has stabbed me again with the reality check that 'hey, your son, he's out there, in the hot sun, baking away, just like at the cemetary.' Forgive me readers, forgive me my crassness. It is the worst pain in the world losing a child and having to pretend you're ok to the whole world even though you have a new beautiful wonderful vibrant new baby in your world. Even though you see others who have children who have challenges set forth before them, and get frustrated that they cannot accept (cannot accept what exactly?). You know what? I'm going to sign off before I say anything I will regret. It's not you I'm mad at. Shouldn't take it out on you.
Damn those boxes. Damn that they are on our doorstep. How's that for a huge reminder that your son died right before your eyes? And why you ask, why can't I 'get over that'? Hmmm. I don't know, why don't you figure it out for me.
Jenn
Sunday, August 06, 2006
And we celebrated his big day...
A sweet boy entered our world..
and he grew and grew..
now he's about to be one..
I can't believe the impact this little life has had on us. I wonder, does having lost one son mean the mere presence of the other children is so much more far reaching meaningful....does that thought even make sense?
Happy Birthday Littlest.
We love you so much.
Mamma
Thursday, August 03, 2006
BFL
My oldest son loves this movie called Big Fat Liar. It's not the one with Jim Carey in it, it's totally different. I swear, he has watched it no less than 5-6 times and each time he's glued as if he's never watched it before. Drives me nuts. What is his favorite part of this whole movie? He won't tell me (I think it's the whole thing). I think it's when he's about to jump into the blue pool, that and the fact that he calls this stuffed animal monkey which is also his best friend (an adult here) Mr. Funny Bones. He thinks that is a hoot. I think it's a hoot how much HE thinks its a hoot. They show it on Disney and ABC Family. It's on AGAIN now. oy.
ah. children. what can you do?
--J
ah. children. what can you do?
--J
Dog Days of Summer
These are them. Man are they. I always have said that folks who walk around and say it's hot, well, in their world, it's going to be 10-15 degrees hotter because they are being so glass half empty about it. Yeah it's hot, but the more you say it is and talk it up, your making yourself and others around you hotter. Yesterday it was I don't know, 104 or something? And in the car it said 111. I think it would be stating the obvious to say "it's hot today" and complain about it. Why bother? I can promise you, there isn't a soul around that thinks, "Wow, it's really nice today, got a nice breeze going, in fact, it feels damn balmy out here, it's great to be alive today!" See what I'm sayin?
We don't typically get that kind of weather each summer, sure a random day here and there on a random summer here
or there but not a string of continuous days like this. So yes, it wasn't just hot, it was the kind of hot where when you get in the car, you smell salt, taste salt on your lips, are inside in the AC and still feel salt stinging your eyes and realize your forehead is sweating or something like that, it was that kind of hot yesterday (my husband says that salt stuff is not normal and to go the Dr. ---not goin). I'm not even sure swimming in a pool would have done any good because the energy it requires to move in weather like that completely takes it out of you. And the water feels like a luke warm bath anyway; EW.
Having said all that just now....I'd like to know if I'm dreamland girl and too glass half full. When I bark at someone at work for saying it's hot, not wanting to hear them stating the obvious, do people think I'm nuts? Don't make it worse I tell them! Yesterday I was at a property, and as I got out of the car to go into the office, I started singing too loudly, 'Baby it's cold outside' a Winter/Christmas song. Starting singing the words to the song and all the choruses before I realized what I was doing and then started laughing at myself so when I got inside, they probably thought I was nuts (hello? I am). But moments later, another Director came in (a male) and he was singing another Christmas song which is escaping me now but I belly laughed. Maybe that's it. Maybe you have to be the same kind of crazy to do this job and we are all wired the same. If so, that's scary. Very telling, but scary.
It's August (obvious), it's hot (obvious), and baby, the dog days of summer are here. Imgaine a scene in which 3 dogs are running along a beach, feet splashing in the sparkling water, soaking wet, yet their tongues are still hanging out, slapping the sides of their faces, cause they're still dying regardless of all the water. Yep. It's just like that. Just like that.
A Mom, A Wife, and a Writer. That's me.
--J
We don't typically get that kind of weather each summer, sure a random day here and there on a random summer here
or there but not a string of continuous days like this. So yes, it wasn't just hot, it was the kind of hot where when you get in the car, you smell salt, taste salt on your lips, are inside in the AC and still feel salt stinging your eyes and realize your forehead is sweating or something like that, it was that kind of hot yesterday (my husband says that salt stuff is not normal and to go the Dr. ---not goin). I'm not even sure swimming in a pool would have done any good because the energy it requires to move in weather like that completely takes it out of you. And the water feels like a luke warm bath anyway; EW.Having said all that just now....I'd like to know if I'm dreamland girl and too glass half full. When I bark at someone at work for saying it's hot, not wanting to hear them stating the obvious, do people think I'm nuts? Don't make it worse I tell them! Yesterday I was at a property, and as I got out of the car to go into the office, I started singing too loudly, 'Baby it's cold outside' a Winter/Christmas song. Starting singing the words to the song and all the choruses before I realized what I was doing and then started laughing at myself so when I got inside, they probably thought I was nuts (hello? I am). But moments later, another Director came in (a male) and he was singing another Christmas song which is escaping me now but I belly laughed. Maybe that's it. Maybe you have to be the same kind of crazy to do this job and we are all wired the same. If so, that's scary. Very telling, but scary.
It's August (obvious), it's hot (obvious), and baby, the dog days of summer are here. Imgaine a scene in which 3 dogs are running along a beach, feet splashing in the sparkling water, soaking wet, yet their tongues are still hanging out, slapping the sides of their faces, cause they're still dying regardless of all the water. Yep. It's just like that. Just like that.
A Mom, A Wife, and a Writer. That's me.
--J
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