Lets Laugh.

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE

1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.
3. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
6. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
7. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.
9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
10. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

OK, so maybe because I've been crying a majority of the day, I needed a release. When I saw these, I laughed maybe a little too hard. I think I needed it. But still, you gotta admit, #7 and #10 are pretty funny. But #1 is the best.

Here's one more...

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married." "Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

Ok. So. There you go. Laughter can heal the world. Chuckling in this case.

The Lovely Bones

OK forget the search inside part. I'm reading this book. It's tearing me up. I don't know why I'm doing this. Bawling. Heaven. Death. The death of a child; older child albeit but child nonetheless.

Torture. My own fault. I should put the book down. Can't do it.

Screwy-Death Makes You Screwy

Here's what I know. I'm pretty screwed up. So twisted, nothing can straighten me out. Is this the life I was meant to have? I suppose it is. It was a rhetorical question anyway, don't worry.

I'm reading this book that is playing with my mind and my emotions. My emotions on the topic of Heaven. And in this book, Heaven is not talked about in relation to God at all. The part that keeps making me cry is when the main character, a fourteen year old girl who has been raped, murdered and butchered and is now in 'her Heaven' takes us through the path of her family as it falls apart after her death and slowly comes back together, when she keeps breaking through because she wishes so badly to be on Earth for certain moments of their lives. It's happened at least two times in the book and maybe more if you believe that her little brother kept seeing her as he told everyone he did. It brings me to my knees to think just by wishing, just by wanting, someone in Heaven can unwittingly 'break through' and be seen by us, those left on Earth. I know. I know that this is just the Authors take on how it might be. I know. But could it be? You know I look for him everywhere. When I read that her sister gets proposed to and she goes to tell her Dad that she's getting married and the whole family is there (special moment) that the sister in Heaven can be seen for a fleeting moment, just how she was before she died, fourteen years old and young. Then just like that she is gone. Not even really knowing she was seen.

I see him in halos, that's all. In pictures, in halos, like circles of light in pictures. I imagine that is him. Oh this just makes me crazy. All of it.

Our family (my little core family) never really fell apart, we never let that happen. We pulled together tighter. Thank God for that. Really I do thank God for that. Because if anything else had happened, anything different, can you imagine how much MORE unstable I'd be? Scary.

Humor me

I know you probably get tired of hearing all my stories about my children. How I think they are so cute or the strange things they do etc etc. But just humor me this....

I was putting the Littlest down for his nap today. Without the PACY (map'm as he calls it-don't ask) and he went down ok. First he was playing as I tried to rock him and he was making rasberries on my chest through my shirt...just being silly. I finally just laid him down, he was fine. Then he really starting fussing. He never called out for me or his pacy, he was just fussing in general, then it would subside, then it got louder, subside, louder then louder and I went to his door, waited like ten seconds to see what he'd do and suddenly he got really upset like a scream or something. I immediately fling the door open, not in a quiet fashion at all, I knew he was upset so I just kind of slammed it open and he never opened his eyes to see me. He was sitting up, with his eyes closed, so tired, and they weren't just closed, they were scrunched closed like all drama and there I stood, not saying anything, amazed that he was sitting up, basically sleeping and crying at the same time and then BAM he just fell over and passed out to la la land.

I just stood there and watched him. Poor thing. I know he wanted that darn pacy. But he never asked for it. And he's been sleeping fine. Keep your fingers crossed. I have made up my mind, at this point, the only time he'll get it is IF he wakes up at night and is upset. We'll see how this all goes. We went out in the car this morning and he only asked for it once. I ignored. The rest of the time, nothing. He was happy and fine. Maybe a tiny bit of progress? I need to remember all this. Maybe I'll print these entries out and save them in with his special things for when he's older, all grown up.

On a separate note, the Oldest said this morning, while I was changing the baby's diaper, out of the blue, "I'm glad the Littlest (he said his name) is a boy, that way when he gets married, he will get to keep our last name, just like Dad. But you Mom, you had to give up your last name." uh huh. And WHERE did this thought come from? Are these normal conversations in your house? Oh boy.

King of the Household

So. We discovered the baby has both ears infected when we took him on Friday morning. He's been taking medicine, seems to be getting better and that's a relief. I truly can't stand to see him so sick; really what Mom can? Well, while we were there, of course we discussed how many ear infections he's had since he was born and blah blah blah it's a lot. He's sort of on the border of them just putting tubes in his ears but we are taking the wait and see approach, we'll keep our fingers on the pulse of that. I don't want to rush to do it but totally will do it the second we feel he hands down needs it. I think we are moving in that direction. The Pediatrician (this is the new one) said "it isn't helping he still has his pacy". Something about the sucking motion associated with pacifier use hinders proper eustachian tube function (which normally keeps the middle ear open and clean). Well you'll be pleased to know that since then (and I digress here) I have done a bit of research and dang if she isn't right. AND to boot, research shows that pacy's should only be used during the first ten months of a baby's life when the sucking motion is really strong (or the need for it). Anything after that is just the baby bossing us around which brings me to my next point..... I tried oh I tried to get my points in there, to tell her, to assert with all I had that, "wait a second, he ASKS for it, I'm not just GIVING it to him" (lets be clear on that so if I'm exhibiting PPS then you know, you need to have the facts straight at least..) Good Heavens. She wasn't having it. She looked at the floor and then she looked at his chart (with a vacant stare, she wasn't reading) and then she looked at me with a kind of small smirk on her face and then said, "boy who runs YOUR family? the baby?" Seriously, seriously, is she serious? Uh, YEAH, he DOES run our family, he's the King of the Household. I mean, of course, I'm being facitious, but of course, kind of at this age, what he wants, says, needs, goes.

SO. I'm the bad guy, I give him what he wants, my husband is all, take it from him, he's fifteen months old, just take it. Wow. I think that is harsh and I should slowly wean it away. It turns out, he can make it through the entire day without it. He asks for it, and we just ignore when he says it. Pretend he didn't just say it. Redirect him. Bring up something else, tickle him, he forgets, then gets involved with other things and maybe an hour or two later, he might ask again and again, we redirect etc etc. Today at daycare while I was at work, they said he went the WHOLE day without it, not even at naptime did he need it. His teacher willingly gave it to him for 20 minutes when he woke up from nap so he wouldn't wake up the other kids. I'm ok with that now but once he's officially all done, then no, can't do that. The only time I see him needing it for me is sleep time. Like he asks for it, whimpers, asks again, fusses, looks for it, is not happy. Tonight I got him to sleep without it but just now, he woke up screaming and I gave it to him. See how weak I am? He literally passed back out, layed right down, nigh nigh. Instantly. He wanted that pacy.

Its' hard. The Oldest never wanted this pacy stuff. Ever. So this IS all new to me. I want him to be happy but I realize the pacy is not helping him, it's making him dependant on something that he shouldn't be, especially at this age. As the pediatrician pointed out, at this age, he should be able to satisfy his desire for the pacy in some other ways and be able to deal with it. I agree but the hard part is actually getting it away from him now.

What do you do when the King wants what he wants? Oh yeah, it's our job to draw up the boundaries and keep them tight. Be the bad guy sometimes. Oh goody.

Jenn

Go HOKIES

Today they play the Cavaliers. They are arch rivals. Should be fun. It's all football around here. Seems fitting this weekend, it just does.

--J

Let it Begin

It always puts butterflies in my tummy when it's time to decorate for Christmas. I love it. Fun.

Most of the Christmas decorations have been brought in the house now. They only need to bring in the tree decorations. None of it is organized yet. Just in boxes but that's ok. It's inside. I can dig in later. We are making our own turkey dinner today. Turkey is roasting, the corn casserole is pre made, ready to go in the oven, same with the green bean casserole. Now to figure out what to do with the potato bread stuffing. Then the cranberry sauce. Can't forget that.

And we're off...

Wordless Wednesday-This is a shot I took at the beach last week.

Happy Thanksgiving

May I be the first to say Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. A couple of things I am thankful for:

1. Definitely my family.
2. This life I have; struggles and all, I am a pretty fortunate person. I get that.
3. My boys. All of them, no matter where they are.
4. The fun I know I'll have on Thursday going from place to place, hectic, fun, the beginning of the Holidays.
5. I'm thankful for this wonderful cold I have. Without it, I'd be happier right this minute and who needs that anyway? ;)

Enjoy your day. No matter where you are, who you're with, cherish the moments. I'm sure we'll all walk away with a story or two. Can't wait to hear them!

Love to all.

Jenn

It's getting colder now..

Man is it. Just suddenly, it's getting colder. It got down to 40 last night (40!). I'm thinkin, that's just 8 degrees away from snow temperatures. Throat is scratchy, can't fight these intermitent headaches, and yukky yukky congestion.

I think I wanted the cold weather but now the grass looks so much greener in the summer time (no pun intended). You always want the other thing don't you?

And the baby? Sick with a cold. We're not all woe is me around here, we're still making it but you know, here comes Winter!

J

If you never let yourself try anything, then you know, nothing will ever happen to you...

Ok, ok, ok. So I didn't exactly look like that. Minus the skirt and the one legged action, and ok, I didnt' have the bow in my hair...fine fine fine, there were no frasier fir trees in the background either. BUT I did have a lot of fun today ice skating outside with the Oldest. I had much more fun than I expected. We'll be going back for more. They were playing Christmas music, it was sort of a busy part of town, for a quick minute, I felt like I might have been at Rockefeller Center in New York City. Wouldn't that be cool?

So there we were, me at first hugging the walls and pretty much not letting go and the Oldest doing the same. I realized that I needed to venture out because really, if you never let yourself try anything, then you know, nothing will ever happen to you. Meaning, life will just whizz on by and no one is going to slow down and hold your hand because you are afraid. Real world. Fraid not. SO, I took a deep breath, and I told myself, if you fall, you fall. In fact that became my mantra. I even found myself telling it to the Oldest, "Come on buddy! Let go of the wall, if you fall you fall, that's how you learn!" (btw, it didn't work for him till much later).

I bravely edged out away from the wall and just started doing it, first pushing off and just gliding to get the feel of the ice. Then after about ten minutes or so, I went further out into the circle and got much braver, going faster and nowhere near the wall. I wasn't breezing by ANYONE, don't get me wrong, but faster for me was not going at a snails pace. If I felt I was going to fall, my hands flew out on both sides to balance myself. I'm sure I looked physically inept. Then I was really winging it when I went in towards the middle and turned around in a complete circle on my skates by just shifting my weight. I loved that feeling! I kept doing that thinking, "wow this must be what it feels like to be a figure skater" uh yeah. I'm sure that's what it feels like :).

Anyway by the time it was almost over, the Oldest was skating away from the wall and begging me to 'watch his moves' (his moves were nothing more than skating while not holding the ever loving wall but that's ok, I high fived him anyway and kept kissing his cheeks). He had a blast and even though he was relegated to the wall probably by the fear I taught him a long time ago, he still had great fun. As I literally skated circles around him, I was feeling guilty because I am sure, almost very certain that it was I who taught him to be afraid of almost everything. My husband is no help in that department as we both hover over him, I'm sure. But like with Nemo in Finding Nemo, where Marlin never thinks Nemo can do anything and he wants Nemo to beleive it so Nemo doesn't go off and do it and then get hurt? Because he saw the Baracuda fish eat his wife and entire family except for Nemo? That would be me, (Marlin) and the Oldest (Nemo) because we saw our son (his brother) die a horrible death (like in the movie, less violent of course but very same general theme).

If you never let yourself try anything, then you know, nothing will ever happen to you. Note to self.. Let him go, do, and be, he'll be fine and even if he isn't, and something happens, he'll still be fine. That's life. And man, that ice skating, now that was fun. And that was life. :)

Jenn

Ya think? I wonder...

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, idiot!"?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Always happens to me..

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Having a Baby

Women who have had children know what I'm talking about when I say that having a baby can be rough. It goes without saying, but I'll say anyway, that the result is worth it times infinity but the process, the pregnancy, the after part if you have post partum, it can be rough. I think men wouldn't know what to do with it all. Honestly, and I'm not trying to man bash here, but I think they are emotionally inept. I'm just saying, it's not always easy and that's if you have a healthy baby.

I was looking at our 'wall of pictures' while holding the Littlest today and I'm sure you know, there are still several pictures of Lucas up that will never come down. As I stood there, I pointed out his brother to him and tried to get him to say Lucas. He gave it a good shot and said, "oocis" with emphasis on the 'sss' at the end. I just smiled into his face and eyes. So here I am, holding my third true blessing, looking at our second one. Is that odd? I mean, I'm not denying the fact that it's reality but is it odd? Should his pictures be taken down? I can't do that yet; still not yet. I'm just wondering if you think they should be.. I miss him. I talk to him more actively than ever, and I imagine he's right there. I miss him. Despite that, I put on the happy face and tackle every day in front of me. So there you have it.

I imagine I could blame a lot of things on depression or eariler on, right after the Littlest was born, the baby blues (anything this far after I think is not baby blues, he's almost one and a half). I think I'm still on that quest to figure it all out.

I was in a grocery store the other day and as I entered, I saw a posting on the community board at the front of the store (where people give away kittens, advertise garage sales etc) and it was a picture of a couple. They were looking for someone to have a baby for them. They have been married five years and have been told unequivicably that they will never be able to have children. It was this whole letter about how they are good people and just need that one person to help them. Gave their number and how to contact them and everything. I just stood there and stared. One part of me wants to help people like that. I cannot have another child though, I don't think my body can do it. Maybe I'm too selfish. I've often thought that if someone in my family or a very close friend needed something like that, I would do it for them. But a stranger? What's the difference really? If the heart is willing for one, then why not another? But I didn't write their info down, I just slowly walked away. My heart going out to them. To be so desparate and willing to put yourself out there no matter what, all for a child. I don't blame them. I think if we weren't so lucky I would have done the same thing. I swear, I would have done it. So I'm not mocking....it just kind of rocked my world a little bit to have it in my face. Sort of like we all become numb to the day to day of this world, the yukky news, the war in Iraq, and then when something happens that hits close to home, it all becomes oh so real.

I wish them well. I hope for them a happy sweet little bundle of love one day. I really do.

--J

Say My Name Elmo Will Ya?

Here's what I'm sayin'. There are these two Elmos out right now. One is this TMX Elmo and the other is this Say My Name Elmo. The TMX Elmo just laughs and falls down (over and over whenever you push his button). Long pause and dead silence inserted here.

The other (imagine bright cheery voice and lots of enthusiasm) talks to your child, says your childs name, knows your child's schedule, you know, interacts with your child, which your child is SURE to learn more from than TMX Elmo which is redundant, dopey, and hollow. Seriously, why get the one that just laughs and falls over? In literally four minutes and thirty seconds, your child will be done with it and even if they aren't, you will be. What's the point?

The deal is that you can't find these TMX Elmo's anywhere, they are hard to find and people have been stealing them from other people. Ridiculous. Why? BUT if you are to go to the store right now and look for the Say My Name Elmo (who BTW interacts in 100 different ways with different phrases and did I mention you can tell it your childs schedule? It comes with a disk and you load it into him and it's fluffy and plush like a doll should be, not hard plastic or robotic..) they are on the shelves. Not in droves but still, you would think it was the other way around.

What is wrong with people? The SMN Elmo is not an educational fru fru no fun doll, it's fun too, and does more than just two things.... I don't get it. Someone, please, set me straight. What the heck am I missing? Seriously..

I got one you know. From you know who to the Littlest. You won't catch me standing in a silly line after Thanksgiving for a toy. ;0)

---Jenn

Ho Ho Ho!

The holiday season is right around the corner. I feel it. I'm starting to think about the tree, if I'll decorate it differently this year, or stay with my normal deco. I always say I'm going to change then never do. I think THAT has a lot to do with my frugal husband. I can go and buy and get no problem but then I'll have to hear 'blah blah blah what was wrong with the other stuff blah blah blah' the whole Christmas season. Never mind. I'd much rather avoid the extra stress and keep the old stuff. One year though...

I'm buying the first few toys today online. I can't believe this means another year is coming to an end. I really am finding that hard to believe. I'm excited about the upcoming festive season, but realize more than ever, the time that has just flown by I'll never have again. Am I doing the best I can to savor all the moments? I think so, but I don't know. I'll do better to be present in the moment, enjoy the here and now.

You know, when we go somewhere with the boys, I never lose sight of the fact that I'm a mom. I don't let them roam and go, my job does not end, ever, the eyes in the back of my head are on high alert and my ears that listen for manners from the Oldest are turned way up, when we are down a toy aisle (or any aisle) I still don't let the Oldest go off by himself and my eyes are peeled for any odd strangers or loners. Remember that this season as we go running here and there with the thousands of other folks, hold their hands tighter, keep them closer.

Here comes Christmas!

J

BIG FAT SIGH

nuff said.

Love it.

This just might have been one of my favorite pictures from our time away.

There were these little shops with these quaint little things in them. I've said this phrase a time or two before and to see it on a sign, "put your big girl panties on and deal with it", was hilarious. I've actually said to the Oldest, "Put your big boy underwear on and deal with it" and he glares at me but guess what? He gets it and moves on.

Plus see that mermaid? Despite the boobage, you know I love mermaids....I maybe should have bought the sign. Too late now. :)

J

DaVinci

Thank you Kelly. You lent me the best book I think I've ever read; ever. I put off the ending on purpose because as bad as I wanted to know it, I wanted to save the ending because I knew it would be good. I will return it soon. Actually, the DVD is coming out tomorrow and I'll be at the store buying it first thing after I get the Oldest on the bus. After we watch it, I might read the book again. You know, read the book, watch the movie, then read the book again to make sure you get all the details and don't miss anything? This book is good.

I am Catholic. This book makes you think about lots of things. Reading it doesn't make me not want to be Catholic but it makes you think......there are possibilities that you never even dreamed were possible. Makes you take stock in what you have been taught and believe to your core. I still believe in those things, and with the death of Lucas, without those beliefs, I think I would have sunken into the Earth, never to come back. All I'm saying is, wow, could those things really be? Even a fraction of a possibility? Really? Even if they are, even if they are, there is still God. I know that. I don't think anyone can take that faith away from me or anyone else for that matter. Having our faith is what gets us through this life. It's like a big rope and you hang on for all you're worth. If you let go, you fall down down down.

Read this book. At first, it's a bit slow. You have to dig in. Once you do, you don't want to put it down. Really good read. Can't wait for the DVD and you know I'll be watching it with my honey tomorrow night. I've already filled him on lots of interesting things and now he's excited to see the movie too. Just because it's a different point of view. Some of the things in that book (most factual things anyway) are supposed to be true and that just blows me away. How come I never knew these things before? Is it truly that the Church doesn't want us to know?

I don't know.

Check it out.

J

Back, Refreshed, and Ready for the World..

We had such a good time at the beach. It was really cold the first night and then cool the next day but after that super mild weather. We went two days to play at the beach, the second day was shorts weather and the first day by the waters edge was chillier but yet still mild. We were barefoot both times.

I think it was an incredible time away to recharge the batteries and forget about the world. I thought about Lucas every day, every single day and for that, I hugged tighter and tried to laugh more with the boys. You all know I'm camera happy, and I can't help it. I want to capture every second I can, you know, so I won't ever forget anything with them. I always surreptitiously go back when my honey isn't looking and delete all pictures of myself that make me sick to look at. Hard on myself; yes. I deserve it. I need to take action about my weight. I'm getting there. To that point. Anyway, so we take thousands (not really) of pictures and I always go back and 'proof' them :)>

I must say, when we walked in our front door earlier, it felt good, it smelled good, I was glad to be home. Ok, now back to reality. I'm baaaaack!

---Jenn

Going going gone

Be back in a while. I'm putting the 'gone fishin' sign out. My goal: To relax with the boys. Pretty simple. Nothing fancy, not at all.

J

How?

Do you know if what you are doing is right? Seriously, how? Although there are thousands and thousands of books and how to's out there, who is right? What is right?

You talk and you talk. You try and you try. You want them to be on the 'right track' to learn right from wrong, to just grow up happy. You want them to have a wholesome and grounded childhood.

You DON'T want them to learn horrible language at the age of seven. What is this world coming to? How do other parents talk at home? In front of their children that their children come to SCHOOL and repeat these things therefore spreading all the crap that is spewed to them at home.....and how you respond to all that....oh its just so frustrating.

Do the right thing. Speak calmly, reiterate it over and over in a loving way. Oh and when the Assistant School Principal calls you at work to tell you your child allowed another child to coerce him (and she did say that) into this whole 'she was going to write a 'bad' word, the "f" word on his paper', and then he let her write it there, right there on his paper for all to see, including the teacher and her assistant, you just calmly listen, while your stomach balls up in knots. You explain to that Assistant Principal that your family does NOT talk like that at home, in fact quite the opposite. You feel the absolute NEED to make sure she knows that. And what are you to do? Is it the more you shelter that child, the more he finds himself in questionable situations? Here is what I want to know.....is this normal for all kids? Am I over reacting?

She put him on the phone with me and his little voice, which was barely arely audible, squeaked over the line, and all I could say was, "I love you Oldest. Do you hear me? I love you. We'll talk about this later." I knew he had to get through his day and I knew he was torn up being in her office. If I had berated him on the phone, he would have been sick and beside himself the rest of the day.

When do you know what you're doing is right? I dont' know. We love him and we are there for him. It's not the end of the world, I get that. I just worry. Well, of course I worry, it's my job to worry. What is WRONG with people? I don't know.

----I will keep on, we will keep on, it's all we can do.

Jenn

Halloween Costume Contest

Kailani at http://pinkdiary808.com is having a Halloween Photo Contest. Go visit, check out the costumes, they are cute. If I do say so myself, Puff is the cutest... there is another Darth in the scariest category so you'll have to check it out.

Have fun and vote for the boys!

We had a good time last night trick or treating. I tried to upload another photo but Blogger was not cooperating last night. I'll try again in a bit. And if I can, I'll have Kailani change the URL to the new photo for the contest. We'll see how all that goes...

Go vote you!

And who can believe it's November 1st? Insane.

--J